Drake Thank Me Later

Drake

2013.11.18 04:55 InfiniteDescent Drake

Welcome to /Drizzy! Drake + OVO news and discussion Aubrey Drake Graham is a Canadian rapper, singer, songwriter, record producer and actor, born and raised in Toronto, Ontario. Discord.gg/drake
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2020.12.03 11:50 AlbabImam04 Pokemon Advanced Generation Review

Pokemon Advanced Generation Review

https://preview.redd.it/kzkupqx63y261.png?width=695&format=png&auto=webp&s=bfd70a0d54e26268c1c74dcd26f4bf942c7df7b7
After his loss at the Johto league, Ash becomes unsure of what to do next. Having parted with Brock and Misty, Ash feels sad and depressed. Then after seeing that Gary leaves Pallet Town again with only his Blastoise and seeing Ho-Oh again flying to Hoenn, Ash decides that he will also travel to Hoenn, taking only his Pikachu.
1. The Theme Songs

I wanna be a hero
These theme songs surpassed the large bar set by their predecessors. All 4, yes I mean all 4 are absolute masterpieces. For me, the best batch of English openings
I Wanna be a Hero is one of the few English openings that reflect the story, This Dream is fast-paced, Unbeatable is just so hype while Battle Frontier is so upbeat. Once again, the English set beat out the Japanese. With that being said, there is no mark which can do this justice other than a full 5/5
Marks: 5/5
2. The Opening Episodes

May on her way to Birch
We see May, a new trainer on the way to Littleroot Town to get her first Pokemon. On the way, she reveals that she actually did not want a Pokemon and that she was using it as an excuse to travel and visit new places.
While on the other end, Ash arrives in Hoenn along with a heavily wounded Pikachu who is suffering from an overload of electricity thanks to Team Rocket.
Immediately upon reaching Littleroot Town he calls Professor Birch whi takes him to his lab. Unfortunately Pikachu escapes and Birch goes out to search for him.
Just like the games, he is attacked by a wild Poochyena as he fell down on it.
May came at this moment and sent out a Mudkip. But she commanded it rather clumsily and Birch took matters into his own hands. He sent the Poichyena away and found Ash elctrocuted by Pikachu.
Then Team Rocket showed up and in their shananigans Pukachu lost its extra electricity and was soon better. But Pikachu had accidentally shocked May's bike whi decided that she would travel with Ash.
This opening episode was rather short and not really special to be honest compared with what Kanto had to offer. It did its job of introducing May but not much else. I would rather have the last Johto episode to be the first Hoenn episode.
Marks: 05.5/10
3. The Characters

The Hoenn gang
I really liked and disliked Ash's Hoenn personality. Liked because he was much more experienced and smart. Dislike because he was too cocky and overconfident and rejected advice from May thinking that she is just a novice. He is quickly put at his place by Brawley, Drake and Gary which makes him less overconfidenr and more open to advice. This is Ash's main Hoenn development.
May, on the other hand was a great character. She was the first of Ash's companions to receive sizable development from being a trainer who didnt even like Pokemon to top 4 of the Kanto Grand Festival. She was a really well-written and sadly, very underrated character.
Brock, was, even staler than in Johto. Brock just came to Hoenn and was luttle more than "Team Cook". His crush on girls gag was now really old. It had been used at least 250 times by then. Why should be used more. He had no pirpose and was one of the weak links in the characters.
Max was a new idea, having a fourth character who was younger and could not own Pokemon. He, however had NO development whatsoever. I liked the episode with Ralts but there should have been more episodes like that.
Marks: 07/15
4. The Characters' Pokemon

Ash's Swellow
Ash's team was actually quite nice. His Sceptile was always like the cool kid in the block. His Corphish was hillarious(I loved his first voice too). His Torkoal had a nice personality too, what with it being a crybaby all the time. His weak points are Swellow and Glalie. Swellow and Glalie are powerhouses but have little else.
May's team was also very fun. Blaziken reflects May's own character development from a timid Torchic to a badass Blaziken. Her Beautifly had an interesting evolution story, hwat with her and Jessie fighting over a Wurmple. Skitty and Munchlax was hillarious. Wartortle also shows great development from a timid little thing to a Pokemon well able to hold its own. Venusaur and Glaceon were downsides to her though.
Brock finally has a notable team. His Ludicolo taking the spotlight. His Bonsly was also cute. Unfortunately, his Forretress was blanda and Mudkip was bland before evolving.
Marks: 09.5/12
5. Rivals

Morrison
Niw here's a problem. Ash didn't have any rivals. His first rival was introduced 6 episodes before the league.
And even Morrison was not that special. The Hoenn League Arc suffers a lot because of this and this Hoenn has the worst set of rivals in the Pokemon anime.
They really had a missed opportunity with Harrison. Harrison could've returned in Hoenn as a rival for Ash since he was originally from Hoenn. But nope,the writers decided to scrap that.
May's rivals on the other hand were absolutely AMAZING. Drew is still, to this day, the best rival for anyone not named Ash (sneek peek to DP review). Harley was annoying and actually helped to bring out Drew's good side to tried to stop harley from sabotaging May. Heck, Harley even use Team Rocket for this. May literally saved this segment of AG from a lackluster 1.5/8 to 5/8. So, good for her.
Marks: 05/08
6. Quantity and Quality of Filler
The Advanced Generation improves a little at this aspect from a filler percentage of 50% from the Original Series to a around 40%. This is still a bit too high.
The filler quality is also stagnated a lot. The same formula from the Original Series has continued and is redundant by now. This is most relevant in Season 7
Marks: 3/7
7. Animation and Art Style
Basically the same as Johto
NEXT!
Marks: 2.5/6
8. Comedy

Boys vs Girls. Go boys!
The comedy also was not that good as in the past. The comedy is mostly supplied by Brock but later down the line Skitty, Munchlax, Ludicolo, Corphish and Marshtomp fill that role.
Team Rocket I feel were really annoying showing up in 100+ episodes at the end trying to catch Pikachu.
The episode above provides a lot smiles too.
Marks: 04.5/07
9. Gym Battles

Ash vs Flannery
Gym battles were amazing for this generation except for a few really BAD ones. Ash vs Roxanne was a good battle sgowing Ash and Pikachu's prowess. Ash vs Brawley was good development for the two. Ash vs Norman had SOME development for max while Ash vs Juan was certainly umique (except for Grovyle losing to Luvdisk).
Ash vs Flannery and Ash vs Winnona come as mediocre to me. While Ash vs Wattson and Ash vs Tate and Liza are just plain bad. The former was just the introduction to a filler-esque episode and the latter was just B.S.
Marks: 07.5/10
10. League Arc

Ash vs Tyson
The League was more or less copy-paste Johto. Ash begins the tournament. Beats 3 trainers early. Runs into a few problems involving his next battles. And then loses to a rival out of nowhere with a overly broken Pokemon. Not much to really say here.
Hoenn Grand Festival was just a pure mess. The first 2 episodes have almost no action while the last one is full of it. Also, it has Indigo League levels of team rocket involvement which I absolutely despise.
However, the Battle Frontier saves it. The Battle Frontier was extraordinary. So many amazing battles and such a conclusion with Ash with his original four to take down Brandon. Hey, Ash's Pokemon also beat 2 legendaries.
The Kanto Grand Festival was also so much better. May's conclusions with Drew and Harley and then going to Johto with them was satistying to see. It also formed a good conclusion to her character.
Marks: 07.5/10
  1. Evil Team Arc

Pikachu absorbed by the Red Orb
Oh, boy here we go. By far, the worst evil team ac in the anime. I will say, though, Team Magama and Team Aqua randomly appearing throughout Hoenn was amazing. There was a lot of build-up and hype. And the final arc just ruins it.
Maxie captures, Red Orb absorbs Pikachu, lance appears out of nowhere (should have been Steven) and hogs up all the screentime. It is then revealed that pikachu was tryng to stop Kyogre this entire time, and with thr help of Groudon, stops archie and kyogre. Then all is done, hurrah. It's ok and all, but I'm just, very confused. 1 moe episode would have been appreciated and thy shold have made it much much more understandable
Marks: 04/10
12. Others

Misty's return
Anyhting else to say would be Misty returning and Ash's Pokemon returning in the Battle Frontier. I liked Misty's return the first time Ash she had develiped quite a lot.
Marks: +1
Total: 62% (C-)
The anime got a little better at gym battles and filler amounts but animation and comedy remained static. Brock was also and overused character by now. Hopefully, he does not return again for a long series run.
submitted by AlbabImam04 to AmourShipping [link] [comments]


2020.12.03 11:50 AlbabImam04 Pokemon Advanced Generation Review

Pokemon Advanced Generation Review

https://preview.redd.it/bx29cv723y261.png?width=695&format=png&auto=webp&s=41b8ea0defd6511e3e5f44f7da09ebbd97a1da10
After his loss at the Johto league, Ash becomes unsure of what to do next. Having parted with Brock and Misty, Ash feels sad and depressed. Then after seeing that Gary leaves Pallet Town again with only his Blastoise and seeing Ho-Oh again flying south to Hoenn, Ash decides that he will also travel to Hoenn, taking only his Pikachu.
Keep in mind that thus review will consist of the Hoenn arc AND the Battle Frontier as the Battle Frontier is too short for its own review. This review shall be in my opinion although I shall try to make it as objective as possible.
1. The Theme Songs

I wanna be a hero
These theme songs surpassed the large bar set by their predecessors. All 4, yes I mean all 4 are absolute masterpieces.
I Wanna be a Hero is one of tge few English openings that reflect the story, This Dream is fast-paced, Unbeatable is just so hype whule Battle Frontier is so upbeat. Once again, the English set beat out the Japanese. With that being said, there is no mark which can do this justice other than a full 5/5
Marks: 5/5
2. The Opening Episodes
📷
May on her way to Birch
We see May, a new trainer on the way to Littleroot Town to get her first Pokemon. On the way, she reveals that she actually did not want a Pokemon and that she was using it as an excuse to travel and visit new places.
While on the other end, Ash arrives in Hoenn along with a heavily wounded Pikachu who is suffering from an overload of electricity thanks to Team Rocket.
Immediately upon reaching Littleroot Town he calls Professor Birch whi takes him to his lab. Unfortunately Pikachu escapes and Birch goes out to search for him.
Just like the games, he is attacked by a wild Poochyena as he fell down on it.
May came at this moment and sent out a Mudkip. But she commanded it rather clumsily and Birch took matters into his own hands. He sent the Poichyena away and found Ash elctrocuted by Pikachu.
Then Team Rocket showed up and in their shananigans Pukachu lost its extra electricity and was soon better. But Pikachu had accidentally shocked May's bike whi decided that she would travel with Ash.
This opening episode was rather short and not really special to be honest compared with what Kanto had to offer. It did its job of introducing May but not much else. I would rather have the last Johto episode to be the first Hoenn episode.
Marks: 05.5/10
3. The Characters

The Hoenn gang
I really liked and disliked Ash's Hoenn personality. Liked because he was much more experienced and smart. Dislike because he was too cocky and overconfident and rejected advice from May thinking that she is just a novice. He is quickly put at hus place by Brawley, Drake and Gary which makes him less overconfidenr and more open to advice. This is Ash's main Hoenn development.
May, on the other hand was a great character. She was the first of Ash's companions to receive sizable development from being a trainer who didnt even like Pokemon to top 4 of the Kanto Grand Festival. She was a really well-written and sadly, very underrated character.
Brock, was, even staler than in Johto. Brock just came to Hoenn and was luttle more than "Team Cook". His crush on girls gag was now really old. It had been used at least 250 times by then. Why should be used more. He had no pirpose and was one of the weak links in the characters.
Max was a new idea, having a fourth character who was younger and could not own Pokemon. He, however had NO development whatsoever. I liked the episode with Ralts but there should have been more episodes like that.
Marks: 07/15
4. The Characters' Pokemon

Ash's Swellow
Ash's team was actually quite nice. His Sceptile was always luke the cool kid in the block. His Corphish was hillarious(I loved his first voice too). His Torkoal had a nice personality too, what with it being a crybaby all the time. His weak points are Swellow and Glalie. Swellow and Glalie are powerhouses but have little else.
May's team was also very fun. Blaziken reflects May's own character development from a timid Torchic to a badass Blaziken. Her Beautifly had an interesting evolution story, hwat with her and Jessie fighting over a Wurmple. Skitty and Munchlax was hillarious. Wartortle also shows great development from a timid little thing to a Pokemon well able to hold its own. Venusaur and Glaceon were downsides to her though.
Brock finally has a notable team. His Ludicolo taking the spotlight. His Bonsly was also cute. Unfortunately, his Forretress was blanda and Mudkip was bland before evolving.
Marks: 09.5/12
5. Rivals

Morrison
Niw here's a problem. Ash didn't have any rivals. His first rival was introduced 6 episodes before the league.
And even Morrison was not that special. The Hoenn League Arc suffers a lot because of this and because of this Hoenn has the worst set of rivals in the Pokemon anime.
They really had a missed opportunity with Harrison. Harrison could've returned in Hoenn as a rival for Ash since he was originally from Hoenn. But nope,the writers decided to scrap that.
May's rivals on the other hand were absolutely AMAZING. Drew is still, to this day, the best rival for anyone not named Ash (sneek peek to DP review). Harley was annoying and actually helped to bring out Drew's good side to tried to stop harley from sabotaging May. Heck, Harley even use Team Rocket for this. May literally saved this segment of AG from a lackluster 1.5/8 to 5/8. So, good for her.
Marks: 05/08
6. Quantity and Quality of Filler
The Advanced Generation improves a little at this aspect from a filler percentage of 50% from the Original Series to a around 40%. This is still a bit too high.
The filler quality is also stagnated a lot. The same formula from the Original Series has continued and is redundant by now. This is most glaring in chapter 7
Marks: 3/7
7. Animation and Art Style
Basically the same as Johto
NEXT!
Marks: 2.5/6
8. Comedy

Boys vs Girls! Go Boys!
The comedy also was not that good as in the past. The comedy is mostly supplied by Brock but later down the line Skitty, Munchlax, Ludicolo, Corphish and Marshtomp fill that role.
Team Rocket I feel were really annoying showing up in 100+ episodes at the end trying to catch Pikachu. This is quite repetitive by now, and I seriously wish they found better use of Team Rocket.
The episode above provides a lot smiles too.
Marks: 04.5/07
9. Gym Battles

Ash vs Flannery
Gym battles were amazing for this generation except for a few really BAD ones. Ash vs Roxanne was a good battle sgowing Ash and Pikachu's prowess. Ash vs Brawley was good development for the two. Ash vs Norman had SOME development for max while Ash vs Juan was certainly umique (except for Grovyle losing to Luvdisk).
Ash vs Flannery and Ash vs Winnona come as mediocre to me. While Ash vs Wattson and Ash vs Tate and Liza are just plain bad. The former was just the introduction to a filler-esque episode and the latter was just B.S.
Marks: 07.5/10
10. League Arc

Ash vs Tyson
The League was more or less copy-paste Johto. Ash begins the tournament. Beats 3 trainers early. Runs into a few problems involving his next battles. And then loses to a rival out of nowhere with a overly broken Pokemon. Not much to really say here.
Hoenn Grand Festival was just a pure mess. The first 2 episodes have almost no action while the last one is full of it. Also, it has Indigo League levels of team rocket involvement which I absolutely despise.
However, the Battle Frontier saves it. The Battle Frontier was extraordinary. So many amazing battles and such a conclusion with Ash with his original four to take down Brandon. Hey, Ash's Pokemon also beat 2 legendaries.
The Kanto Grand Festival was also so much better. May's conclusions with Drew and Harley and then going to Johto with them was satistying to see. It also formed a good conclusion to her character.
Marks: 07.5/10
  1. Evil Team Arc

Pikachu absorbed by the red orb
Oh, boy here we go. By far, the worst evil team ac in the anime. I will say, though, Team Magama and Team Aqua randomly appearing throughout Hoenn was amazing. There was a lot of build-up and hype. And the final arc just ruins it.
Maxie captures, Red Orb absorbs Pikachu, lance appears out of nowhere (should have been Steven) and hogs up all the screentime. It is then revealed that pikachu was tryng to stop Kyogre this entire time, and with thr help of Groudon, stops archie and kyogre. Then all is done, hurrah. It's ok and all, but I'm just, very confused. 1 moe episode would have been appreciated and thy shold have made it much much more understandable
Marks: 04/10
12. Others

Misty's return
Anyhting else to say would be Misty returning and Ash's Pokemon returning in the Battle Frontier. I liked Misty's return the first time Ash she had develiped quite a lot.
Marks: +1
Total: 62% (C-)
The anime got a little better at gym battles and filler amounts but animation and comedy remained static. Brock was also and overused character by now. However, the battle frontier arc
submitted by AlbabImam04 to pokemonanime [link] [comments]


2020.12.02 07:10 MarvelousMasao How My Monk Went Down In the Blaze of Glory

As I'm writing this, it's only been probably about two to three days already since he died and out of the couple years of D&D I've been playing he was the first character of mine to die.
His name was Drake, a Wildhunt Shifter that had left his home on a tribal tradition of venturing off to discover his "fire". This was set in the Greyhawk campaign of D&D which for those who don't know what it is search up Gary Gygax to keep things short. Anyways lets just say that this campaign was ruthless for players and even our DM said that min. maxing and power gaming was alright for us.
Now in the first session he nearly died after what was suppose to be a three person session but player three didn't show up so it was just me and the Firbolg cleric. Speaking of which in session two dies he dies even after our new players, a changeling rouge, changeling wizard, human fighter, and aasimar paladin had joined. This is important to remember later too, you see after I went down after a griffon knocked me out and our cleric rolled a natural 1 on a death save, the changeling rouge immediately started going through the cleric's stuff. This caused the fighter to try to strike him down but after the DM didn't want to approve PVP because the rouge was saying no to which he left, but thinking about it now I don't blame him which you'll figure out later. So after that I convinced the party to let me deliver his belongings to his temple including over 300 gold that we found in a cave in session one, his berserker's axe, and the +1 weapon that he was having the village blacksmith forge after melting down some armor we found which thankfully they allowed me to did give to the temple, except his boots of levitation that we found that the rouge decided to keep.
Finally we get to session three where we meet the new guy that replaced the human fighter who's a half elf fighter instead and this is where my first player character died. You see the rouge wanted to go visit some ruins that he was hired to go clear out and we followed him in promise of gold and magical items that we find. So we venture forth and after a few close encounters it took us a day or two to get to the ruins with many close calls from traps, to a rusted golem, and undead minotaurs but we finally made it to the ruins. Now after entering the ruins we did have a close encounter with some creature I can't even type out or say out loud and after we discovered some pretty sick demon plate armor for our paladin as well as an entrance to the under dark, we came across a Gelatinous Cube that was blocking our path. So after talking about how to get around it our wizard misty steps behind it and this is where our fates were sealed, because when he did that six shadows came out of the walls and in the blink of an eye drained out wizard of he's strength to nothing and dies. Why does this mean death, well for people who never fought shadows draining a player character to 0 strength meant death and for our case no death saving throws cause we aren't knocked unconscious we're just dead. This is where I got scared because when I rolled for stats I dumped strength with a stat roll of 8, also I designed my character to be 4'8" and 90 pounds since he was born so small a pebble would be considered bigger compared to him to justify the low strength.
So we take down the Gelatinous Cube but there were three shadows that remained and we were very low on health so we decided to book it leaving the wizard's body behind. So in terms of fastest the rouge was first, I was second, the fighter third leaving the paladin all by himself and injured badly who decided to stand his ground against them. The rouge without skipping a beat decided to just run out of this place even when he was the one that suggested us to come here, and the fighter used invisibility to hid from the shadows hoping they would return back from where they came letting him run after they killed the paladin. So what about me, well thanks to the DM saying my passive perception allowed me to hear the paladin smash into the wall and was helpless I or Drake let the fire that was slowly flickering away inside of him burn brightly one more time and charged back to help the Paladin. The fighter sees me come back and kill one of the shadows with my astral arms decides to join the fight firing off a shot from he's crossbow. I was out of ki points so there wasn't much for me to do so I repeated bonus attack unarmed strike which the DM let me do and took the dodge action to give me a slight chance against them but the dice were rolling in the DM's unfortunate favor. He rolls two 18 which was enough to finish Drake off who had only 2 strength left, but before I died I told the Paladin that to let his sister know he found he's fire and everything on his person was he's to keep. I did that because I figure the rouge was going to go after my short sword of life stealing since he tried to that session before thinking I was the one that died but this is where for the first time playing D&D one of my character's died. The DM informed me because he died in such a valiant way he was allowed in the hall of heroes and in the after life was allowed to feast and drink with those who died in the same manner.
Now the Paladin carried Drake's body and performed ceremony on my corpse to prevent it from becoming an undead after dying to shadows and cremated his body on a pyre sending him off to meet his god.
After this session the DM messaged me afterwards telling me sorry for had happened to my character but I told him that it was alright and I was going to be playing he's sister who was a circle of the stars druid when I came back from moving into my new place. However, she had even less strength then he did with a 7 on strength score so it really must be a genetic thing or something in their family but who knows, maybe you'll hear about her adventure in the future.
submitted by MarvelousMasao to AllThingsDND [link] [comments]


2020.12.01 18:35 BilboSwaggiings The case against banning Tron from someone who HATES the pauper tron. (Discussion)

I’d like to start of by saying that playing against tron is about the worst experience a man can endure in peacetime, but it doesn’t have to be! Back when tron was playing Ulamog's crusher and Fangreen Marauder it wasn't hugely problematic or unfun to play against (in my opinion, obviously).

Broken cards and broken decks

Cards like [[Oko, thief of crowns]], or arguably [[Daze]] if you prefer a pauper card, is inherently broken and can never be balanced, because the card is simply to good, both in a vacuum and in the (any) meta! Other cards like [[Peregrine Drake]] aren’t broken in a vacuum (although still strong even in a vacuum) but are banned because they break when combined with other cards – in this case flicker

The eternal tradeoff

In my opinion tron isn’t broken in a vacuum and can be “fair” to play against, but it has a tendency to break other cards, so the tradeoff is: should we just ban the tron lands or should we ban several other cards to stop the tron lands from breaking them? If we ban [[Urza’s Tower]] we won’t have to ban [[Dinrova Horror]] or any other card that tron potentially breaks in the future. In my opinion it is still worthwhile to keep tron unbanned however as the deck can be interesting. Tron wasn’t (in my opinion) hugely problematic when it was playing [[Fangren Marauder]] and [[Ulamog’s Crusher]] – it was still a strong deck no doubt, and tron will always continue to be strong; but it doesn’t have to be broken or unfun. [[Spellstutter Sprite]] has been in tier 1 decks for years now and while some hate the card, few argue for a ban!
Whereas cards like [[Dinrova Horror]] that are breaking the tron-lands rarely see play in any other decks, so banning them won’t ruin other decks (more on that later) and any high tier deck playing [[Dinrova Horror]] will always be oppressive to play against.

Gushing about other bans

I took a roughly 2 year hiatus from pauper (and mtg in general) that ended this summer, so I can’t speak for the meta around Blue Monday, but when I returned, I was very sad to see that Izzet Blitz and Tireless Tribe combo had died. Banning [[Gush]] and [[Git Probe]] might have been necessary for the meta, but it destroyed decks that were in no way strong even before the bans. My fear is that banning the tron lands instead of banning [[Dinrova Horror]] (or cards like it; looking at you Stonehorn) will mean that [[Fangren Marauder]] never sees play again despite not being broken! Everyone prefers as few bans as possible, but we also prefer bans that allow as many decks in the meta as possible!

This is the dumbest thing you ever read, and my father is probably also my uncle

This post was meant more as discussion than as an op-ed, so now it is your turn to tell me why I am terribly wrong! Thanks for your time, have a lovely, tron-less day😊
-Bilbo
submitted by BilboSwaggiings to Pauper [link] [comments]


2020.12.01 16:57 Ratatacakes Dream interpretation Update

I think I interpreted on part of my dream. So, when the bus flys off the bridge and lands in the water. One girl opens a window and gets out. The other one that was with me gets out of that window too and then I had to break the window because, the opening was so thin that it couldn't fit anyone through it.
I could symbolize different methods of problem solving for us. Like the girls just changed their perspective but, I had to break a window meaning I had to face some descisions I made that got me there in order to get out. It wasn't enough to change my point of view.
This is a long dream so I will post it below:
I was dreaming that I was walking outside at night and I took a couple of mating birds (One of them is black and big the other one is colorful and small) and put them in my bag, because, I thought it was interesting. The bag reminded me of a bag of holding but, its outward appearance was simple. I also took a bat because I love their wings. When I got home, I found that all the animals in the bag are dead.
I do not remember where I put the mating birds but, I do remember that I skinned the bat on the table the first chance I got. I wanted its wings (I was going to turn them into earrings). So, I cut most of its skin and its wings off. When I walked away for a little bit to hang out with my roommate and bf I noticed that the creature morphed into a dog/ bat creature with its wings cut off so it’s more like a dog than wings.
I freaked out towards my roommate that I thought that the bat is dead but, it was not. I felt sorry for the poor thing so we made a fursuit for the dog/bat and released it so that it could have a bit of time left to live without the torture of having no wings or only having very little skin left on its legs. I could not keep the wings after that because it reminded me of torturing the dog/bat.
Then my dream cuts to my training partners and I deciding which levels to clean next in a sprawling duplex/Chinese restaurant area. IT seems that the lower-class area was spotless. So, we could clean the upper-class area next or we could clean another area called the Laguna wing. I already have the idea that cleaning the upper-class area would be difficult because “Rich people are nasty.” And I had the idea that rich people care a lot less about their surroundings than poor people because rich people could just pay someone to clean it anyway. Though I chose it anyway, my rest of the crew sort of chuckled and asked me if I was sure about my decision, *Paris specifically says that she usually does that but, gives me the option to replace her in cleaning the upper-class area instead. I was convinced about not cleaning the entirety of the upper-class area by myself, so I just asked her to go to Laguna because it seemed nearby and easy to clean. I was also interested in a book of secret knowledge that was advertised to be there.
*Paris and *Erica was driving the bus out to Laguna while I was sitting behind them. They were talking and laughing but, I noticed how far the drive was. In fact, I said, “I would rather have just done the Upper-class area instead with how long the drive was.” They sort of gave me a look and said something back, I do not remember what. Once we got to the “destination” it seems that the bridge was cut off onto the ocean and we drove off the bridge into the sea. We all simultaneously realized the town does not exist and neither does the secret book. *Paris was the first to get out because she opened the window next to the emergency exit. *Erica followed closely behind her. I took a bit longer because I was panicking trying to find the window they swam out of while the bus was filling up. When I found the window, I found that I did not fit through, so I had to break open the emergency exit and bust myself out. The bus immediately turned into a 4-door sedan with a large broken window on one of the passenger doors. I narrowly got out of it alive but, they seem to have been waiting for me to leave. We leave together to go back to the restaurant-duplex. Shifu was yelling at me about not getting any of the wings clean. So, I told him about how the bus ended up in the water instead and that there was no Laguna wing, and neither was there a secret book and the town does not exist. It seems that this was the first time that Shifu has heard this information. He then turns incredibly understanding and apologizes for yelling at me.
Later on, *Lee and *Drake drives out to investigate the wing. They noticed what I am saying is true but, when they tried to stop, they swerved over the side. It is unclear whether *Drake makes it out but, *Lee gets pulled out by a Filipino girl that admires him to the point of obsession. He thanks her for saving him but, seemed like he wanted to get home. She says that going home was an option but, when he saw the state of all the other people that she admired that tried to leave her (She shows him a dismembered corpse of a girl who wanted to go back home from the beach, she was assembled into a sculpture where her head was placed on the side of an arrow and the arrow was looping and pointing right while her body was posed in a showman type of way. She was on a wooden platform and her name was Scarlet), he realized that there was no option for going home for him.
(I dreamt that sequence from *Lee’s point of view)
The reason why I wanted a second opinion is that on a few sites I saw that if you were dreaming about cleaning with people that means they want to do harm to you. I don't know if that's the case for my training partners but, I decided to post the whole dream here because it's hard for me to translate the entire thing. Can you also recommend sites for translation?
submitted by Ratatacakes to DreamInterpretation [link] [comments]


2020.11.30 15:44 MoeDantes questions from a 1st time Souls player (DS Remastered for Switch)

So yeah, I missed out because I actually skipped the PS3/XB360 gen entirely, and the Switch was my return to modern gaming generations so it was either play this version or not at all, and it went on sale recently too.
I'm currently at that bridge with the dragon, and yes I have attempted to run it and kill the dragon (I know that's not what you're supposed to do, but I like trying to do things I'm not supposed to, and I've been told about the Drake Sword you get for killing it).
So far I'm having fun, but there are things I wonder.
Side note - I'm playing offline. My internet bandwidth restrictions are tight and anyway playing online doesn't sound that fun to me.
ANYWAY, I gots some questions.
  1. Okay so all I know about humanity is you need it to kindle bonfires, and having ten of it will make items drop slightly more often. Other than that though, is there any reason to farm for it, or to feel upset if I die and lose it?
  2. On that note, is there a reason to reverse hollowing? The only reason I found is if you need to kindle a bonfire, which you can't do while hollow, but so far I've noticed no other benefits.
  3. Is there an actual use for the bottomless box? Your character's inventory already seems unlimited, so is this just a place to dump all the hollow armors and such you don't want?
  4. Do I ever get a chance to, say, *sell* this excess gear I've acquired?
That's all the questions I have at the moment, tho I might add more later. Thanks in advance!
submitted by MoeDantes to darksouls [link] [comments]


2020.11.29 13:17 Mrosa093 A couple years ago I found a blackberry in Cabo

So when I was a 53 I went to Cabo with my wife and our grandchildren. Not our direct children though. They wanted some alone time in the Wild West, if ya know what I mean. So they allowed our grandchildren to go on vacation with us. Naturally we went to the beach. And this is where our story kicks off.
So for those old people out there, walking on the sandy beach can be somewhat difficult. And our energetic and chaotic grandchildren weren’t helping. When we finally got to the ocean waves. We watched the kids have fun for a couple hours. After a while, my old skin started getting irritated from the sun, so I told the children to come get towels and dry up. They insisted we make a sand castle though.
One wanted to get really dig into the ground, and by really I mean like his whole body besides his face. And because we were far from the waves now, but still on the sand, I decided to let him. Upon starting to shovel, I hit something hard, with a light shovel tap? I was like “oh a rock”? But when I got it out. It was a phone???? I examined it, and on the back it had what I assumed at the time to be the name of that phone brand. It said Drizzy Drake on the case. I thought I would just report it to lost and in found, but I didn’t do that. Tbh, I thought that the name Drizzy Drake in a gold case looked cool. At this time fake golden cases weren’t flexed like that. I thought if it was real gold so I decided to keep it.
Later, when I got back to the hotel, I realized that I didn’t try to turn on the phone yet. So I found a charger with a similar charging port, thank God at the time blackberry had a common charging port. When I turned it on, it immediately went to the home screen. I was surprised there wasn’t a password, especially on a phone with a case made out of Gold. But, it didn’t. Anyways on the home screen I notice three things, a phone icon, a bubble icon sorta like the ones in comic book strips at my time, and a image of a camera. I, trying to figure out if this case was really gold, so I snooped through it, trying to find any evidence that the owner of this phone was rich. First I went to the phone icon. In it had a couple contacts. One said Dennis the Man from hell?? I was like okay, the next said Sandi my real Creator?? I was kinda getting weirded out by the context of these phone contact names. But I was, well as my older now grandchildren say “lowkey Interested”. So I kept reading. There were three others. One was just called Brotha 40 The next was called tunechi, my niqqa. The third contact name was Nicki, the most beautiful girl a Jewish, black and white man, a man ever had a crush on. Aka the girl Masturbate to. I was on shock at the last line. How vulgar. I was disgusted actually. But something, I don’t know what to this day made me keep reading. I went to the bubble icon. There were a few random numbers not on his number list, that had messages to. One in particular said “Yo, Mellisa, baby girl, oh wait can I call you. Fuck it YOLO. Anyways baby girl I was just thinking, I’m feeling so lonely these days, ever since we stopped talking, and we haven’t been on set for Degrassi together no more nothing was the same. I feel like we’re distant from each other. Anyways girl, Come fill my holes in life, by sticking something up my hole, baby girl. If ya know what I mean ha, anyways my booty got some room for improvement so bring that strap strap, and make me silky like some tree sap sap. Ha. TAKE CARE GIRL
I was deeply disturbed. By just this one text. I decided I shouldn’t look anymore through this phone, but I had something I. My mind saying it couldn’t get worse. I was like , WELL if I’m Thinking this it’s to late anyways. So I decided to go on the picture section,
It had picture after picture of rap lyrics, and sexual content of whoever this was. For one, the lyrics were really fire, like fire, I could tell they were lyrics because it was structured like a poem, but with things in between the lines like, breath here, fuck them hoes up with your lines here by talking aggressively and shit here, rap and sing but switch between both after this line here.
The lyrics were amazing. There were even what looked to be like album titles with lyrics and stuff. One of his most recent posts had Thank Me Later as a title for a picture, and it had the lyrics for a song called Find your Love 2. I was so far gone by how good the lyrics were, although I was starting to think that whoever made them, was a bit gay. I mean a lot gay. But it’s whatever.
I decide to take them to a store to get the memory erased, because I’m an old man, and I have money, to just buy a new memory card. So I went to a shop, which was owned by a Jewish Man. Upon walking in I heard the Jewish man say, “naw Bitch, this boy Drizzy drake be standing for the hood of the Jewish people and shit. That’s why he famous clown ass. Don’t ever come in my shop again with that hate for my man, youlle get worse words than that if you ever mention that gay rumors about him again. So thank me later for not beating your azz up”. That’s when it hit me. The lyrics, the pictures, the contacts of phone numbers. I walked out the store, and kept the phone.
Now I’m am a very old man, in fact my grandson from that trip is actually writing everything I say down for me. My grandson has taken these lyrics and taken pictures of them and we keep it locked up and a family tradition. He is now a rapper himself, and goes by the name of Lil Tecca. He is such a good guy. He often has many different woman at his house he helped with homework. He’s such a certified lover boy. But anyways if drake ever take shots, he will realize these pictures.
Btw this is not real, I’m pretty sure I’m hella high rn. But uh my niqqa drake is lover boy to me....
submitted by Mrosa093 to Drizzy [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 21:52 Ratatacakes Wanted a second opinion

I was dreaming that I was walking outside at night and I took a couple of mating birds (One of them is black and big the other one is colorful and small) and put them in my bag, because, I thought it was interesting. The bag reminded me of a bag of holding but, its outward appearance was simple. I also took a bat because I love their wings. When I got home, I found that all the animals in the bag are dead.
I do not remember where I put the mating birds but, I do remember that I skinned the bat on the table the first chance I got. I wanted its wings (I was going to turn them into earrings). So, I cut most of its skin and its wings off. When I walked away for a little bit to hang out with my roommate and bf I noticed that the creature morphed into a dog/ bat creature with its wings cut off so it’s more like a dog than wings.
I freaked out towards my roommate that I thought that the bat is dead but, it was not. I felt sorry for the poor thing so we made a fursuit for the dog/bat and released it so that it could have a bit of time left to live without the torture of having no wings or only having very little skin left on its legs. I could not keep the wings after that because it reminded me of torturing the dog/bat.
Then my dream cuts to my training partners and I deciding which levels to clean next in a sprawling duplex/Chinese restaurant area. IT seems that the lower-class area was spotless. So, we could clean the upper-class area next or we could clean another area called the Laguna wing. I already have the idea that cleaning the upper-class area would be difficult because “Rich people are nasty.” And I had the idea that rich people care a lot less about their surroundings than poor people because rich people could just pay someone to clean it anyway. Though I chose it anyway, my rest of the crew sort of chuckled and asked me if I was sure about my decision, *Paris specifically says that she usually does that but, gives me the option to replace her in cleaning the upper-class area instead. I was convinced about not cleaning the entirety of the upper-class area by myself, so I just asked her to go to Laguna because it seemed nearby and easy to clean. I was also interested in a book of secret knowledge that was advertised to be there.
*Paris and *Erica was driving the bus out to Laguna while I was sitting behind them. They were talking and laughing but, I noticed how far the drive was. In fact, I said, “I would rather have just done the Upper-class area instead with how long the drive was.” They sort of gave me a look and said something back, I do not remember what. Once we got to the “destination” it seems that the bridge was cut off onto the ocean and we drove off the bridge into the sea. We all simultaneously realized the town does not exist and neither does the secret book. *Paris was the first to get out because she opened the window next to the emergency exit. *Erica followed closely behind her. I took a bit longer because I was panicking trying to find the window they swam out of while the bus was filling up. When I found the window, I found that I did not fit through, so I had to break open the emergency exit and bust myself out. The bus immediately turned into a 4-door sedan with a large broken window on one of the passenger doors. I narrowly got out of it alive but, they seem to have been waiting for me to leave. We leave together to go back to the restaurant-duplex. Shifu was yelling at me about not getting any of the wings clean. So, I told him about how the bus ended up in the water instead and that there was no Laguna wing, and neither was there a secret book and the town does not exist. It seems that this was the first time that Shifu has heard this information. He then turns incredibly understanding and apologizes for yelling at me.
Later on, *Lee and *Drake drives out to investigate the wing. They noticed what I am saying is true but, when they tried to stop, they swerved over the side. It is unclear whether *Drake makes it out but, *Lee gets pulled out by a Filipino girl that admires him to the point of obsession. He thanks her for saving him but, seemed like he wanted to get home. She says that going home was an option but, when he saw the state of all the other people that she admired that tried to leave her (She shows him a dismembered corpse of a girl who wanted to go back home from the beach, she was assembled into a sculpture where her head was placed on the side of an arrow and the arrow was looping and pointing right while her body was posed in a showman type of way. She was on a wooden platform and her name was Scarlet), he realized that there was no option for going home for him.
(I dreamt that sequence from *Lee’s point of view)
The reason why I wanted a second opinion is that on a few sites I saw that if you were dreaming about cleaning with people that means they want to do harm to you. I don't know if that's the case for my training partners but, I decided to post the whole dream here because it's hard for me to translate the entire thing. Can you also recommend sites for translation?
submitted by Ratatacakes to Dreams [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 11:18 jaylencrenshaw Worst song from every drake album. If you ask a genie like me

DLDT- Pain , drake was very eh in it . Plus carti doing what he did did no justice either
IYRTITL- this a hard one as it gots all bangers, but ima have to go w used too. Ain’t really it Nd I ain’t a big fan of lil Wayne but still a good song nevertheless
More life- kinda a difficult one too but ima have to say no long talk. Ain’t just it in my opinion Idk had to choose something for this one
Nothing was the same- all bangers in this one but worst one to me is all me. Still a great ass song but I think all the other ones js better
Scorpion- another pretty hard one but ima have to go w peak. Couple songs on here that I don’t really agree w so I’ll just go peak
So far gone- this my least favorite album that I ain’t ever really listen too. Couldn’t tell you the worst cause this ain’t my type of drake but maybe I should listen to it yall let me know
Take care- the motto. Still a classic but if I gotta choose my least favorite it’d be this one
Thank me later- damn I can’t choose one
Views- ima have to go w Grammy
Didn’t wanna do any interludes but DRAKE STILL THE GOAT NEVERTHLESS
submitted by jaylencrenshaw to Drizzy [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 05:27 shlttyshittymorph Fredward "Freddie" Benson

Freddie Benson

BORN:

Fredward Benson February 4 (age 13-18) [1]

FAMILY:

See list of Benson family members

FRIENDS AND LIKES:

Carly Shay (best friend, ex - girlfriend,) Sam Puckett (best friend,ex - girlfriend) Spencer Shay Gibby Gibson Principal Franklin Brad Harper T-Bo Coconut Cream Pie Perfectly preparing a pizza (as mentioned in iHire An Idiot) Computers Technology Celebrities Underwater World of Warlords Galaxy Wars Fencing Pini's lasagna Lane Alexander Model Trains Baseball

DISLIKES:

Nevel Papperman Sam Puckett (formerly) Tasha (iNevel) Carly and Sam fighting Marissa Benson (when she is overprotective of him.) Cort Wade Collins When people stick ribs on his face When Spencer teases him about eating his "Mushywooms" Shannon Mitchell Mushrooms (iSam's Mom) Asparagus (iMove Out) Steven Carson

TALENTS:

Tech stuff Acting British accents Portraying vampires Fencing Math (Long Division) Shooting Arrows (Jr. Bow & Arrow Club at Ridgeway) (Possibly) Ballet (iRescue Carly) Speaking fluent Spanish

ICARLY.COM BLOGS

Freddie's blogs

PORTRAYED BY:

Nathan Kress

ALIAS:

Chess Masterson (in iParty with Victorious)

CATCH PHRASE

"In 5, 4, 3, 2, ..."

BIO

Fredward "Freddie" Benson (born February 4) was iCarly's technical producer and the tritagonist of the show.
This role includes being an administrator for the iCarly website, creating the special effects used on the iCarly webcast, editing film clips for the show, and being a camera man. Freddie is the oldest member of the iCarly trio and came up with the name iCarly for their webshow.
He lives in Bushwell Plaza, in apartment 8-D with his mother. This is the apartment directly across the hall from his best friend Carly Shay.
Freddie attends Ridgeway High School, and is known to have very high grades across a variety of subjects. He is part of many extra-curricular activities, the most well known being the A.V. Club.
His personality is generally intellectual, very calm and even tempered when dealing with negative people or events. Freddie has very strong morals, and has trouble being mean, taking advantage of people, or lying. He can also be a little clumsy. Sometimes, he speaks a little bit of Spanish.
Freddie is portrayed by Nathan Kress.

Personality


Freddie is very intelligent and is shown to be a bit of a geeky person who can get excited about anything that has to do with technology. Along with this, he can be shown to be a bit of a cool person as well, not fully portraying the stereotypical nerd. He is also a member of the A.V. Club in school, along with being a fan of World of Warlords (parody of World of Warcraft). Because of his love for computers, he became iCarly's technical producer, the one who builds and operates the technical equipment on iCarly. Examples of such equipment are the green screen, the flat screen monitor (which he made move 18% faster), Sam's remote, and various special effects.
Freddie does have a somewhat devious side, especially when he wants to get back at Carly or Sam for something. This was shown in iStage An Intervention and iHire An Idiot. Freddie likes to believe that he is "bad", but his pranks and wrongdoings usually backfire somehow, leaving him as squeaky-clean as ever.
Freddie shares Spencer's enthusiasm for Galaxy Wars (parody of Star Wars). His interest is also shown in the decoration of his room and the fan-talk they share after Spencer buys a "Proton Cruiser" spaceship. In iHeart Art and iWas A Pageant Girl, he mentioned that he visits the Galaxy Wars Convention, and he has also been shown to have a laser gun and a stun blazer (which he shocked himself with when he thought he was dreaming). He also shares Spencer's love for World of Warlords as evidenced in iStart a Fanwar.
In iFence, it was shown he has great talent for fencing - just like his ancestors and his mother. However, his fencing has not been mentioned since, and it is likely he quickly lost interest in it. His mother also takes him to different sports activities, like synchronized swimming or tennis, much to his embarrassment. Interestingly, in numerous episodes, he's holding a fork or a pen with his left hand. In iFence, however, he is shown fencing with his right hand, which has led fans to think that he might be ambidextrous.
He is the only person in the cast who is shown to be multi-lingual, although Sam has demonstrated fluency in Italian (she said it is because her mom really likes Italian guys). Besides being able to speak fluent Spanish (he often has random Spanish outbursts, see below), he also speaks some French, as shown in the episode iHate Sam's Boyfriend. It is unknown why he's multi-lingual. Some iCarly fans theorize that it has something to do with the tracking chip that Freddie's mom put in his head. (Freddie began an explanation in iGoodbye as to why he speaks Spanish so randomly, but he never finishes it.)
In some episodes, Freddie shows a rare case of somewhat violent and mean thoughts. In iWon't Cancel The Show, he is shown to be shaking in laughter at Gibby's discomfort of having to brush his teeth with mustard repeatedly. When Sam bothers him in iSell Penny-Tees, he slowly picks up a knife, but stops himself. In iPity The Nevel, he wanted Nevel to drink from the shoe Sam's foot had "been sweating in for over a year." In iOMG, he seems pretty amused by the fact that Sam posted the (obviously mean) pictures of what she'd drawn on Gibby's forehead on the internet.


Freddie lives with his overprotective mother Marissa Benson, who frequently embarrasses him. In iMove Out, Freddie gets a little too irked with his mom's behavior and moves out. At the end of the episode, he comes back on the condition that she never embarrass him in public again, and that she unlocks all the TV channels, although Marissa is hesitant to unlock the nature channel. As mentioned in iDate Sam & Freddie, he knows his mom put a chip in his head. In a recent iCarly.com interview with T-Bo, Freddie confesses to T-Bo that he has stage fright, although in iCook, Freddie (when he found out he was on TV), said "I'm Freddie Benson" in a nervous and rather amusing way.
In various episodes, he has been shown to be a caring person and true friend to both Carly and Sam. For example, in iReunite with Missy, he saw Sam's need for help, and secretly got rid of Missy for her by giving away his cruise vacation to Missy (also removing the problem of his absence from the webshow). On numerous other occasions, he does whatever he can to help both of his friends, and sometimes Carly's brother Spencer as well.
When he was younger, Freddie was portrayed as a bit of a wimp, easily pinned by Carly. Later on, Freddie developed greater physical strength. In iScream on Halloween, he ripped a door knob off with his bare hands (it was an accident). In iThink They Kissed, when Carly pinned him down, Freddie easily reversed it. In Season 4, his biceps looked a lot thicker than in the past. This is due to Nathan Kress working out more. (In iOMG, it took Sam a little longer than before to beat him in arm wrestling.)

Physical Appearance

Freddie was originally short and scrawny in Season 1, Carly and Sam were taller than him. He eventually has a growth spurt and grows a little taller than the both of them. He also becomes athletic in Season 4, his biceps become larger than before and his chest thickens and hardens, filling out his shirt. Freddie had spikier hair in Season 1 and in the first 10 episodes of Season 4, his hair is shorter and combed. Also, in later Season 4 and Season 5 episodes, Freddie has noticeable remnants of stubble because of Nathan Kress growing facial hair and shaving it.

Relationships with Other Main Characters

(In order of first interaction)

Carly Shay


(2005-; Best Friend, Former Crush, Ex- Girlfriend, Neighbor)
Freddie's massive crush on Carly was established in the first episode of the very first season. Despite her constantly rejecting him, they became best friends. They have known each other since the sixth grade and are shown to care for each other very strongly, as they both stand up for the other one on a number of occasions. (See: Creddie Friendship)

Freddie has been shown to be extremely jealous towards any guy Carly was interested in. He saved her life from an oncoming taco truck in the episode iSaved Your Life, and they became a couple for a short while, but broke up at the end of the episode because Freddie didn't want to take advantage of Carly if she only liked him because he saved her life. Their relationship has been mentioned once since then in iApril Fools, but because this episode broke the fourth wall, this was generally ignored by viewers.
Also, it is hinted that Freddie is still harboring feelings for Carly because in iOpen a Restaurant, he asked her, "Is it too late for you to love me?".
In the series finale iGoodbye, Carly comes up to the iCarly studio while he is packing up. Carly stops him by placing her hand on his, and then she kisses him. Freddie returns the kiss, and as they are leaving the iCarly Studio, he is seen raising his hands up in a triumphant gesture.
(See: Creddie)

Sam Puckett


(2005-2012; Frienemies, Best Friends, Ex-Girlfriend)
Sam and Freddie started as frienemies, but developed to best friends. As they grew older, they began hanging out without Carly much more frequently. Although they frequently tease each other, they can always rely on each other when they need help and always have each other's back. (See: Seddie Friendship)

In iKiss, Sam and Freddie shared their first kiss with each other after they agreed to do so just to get their first kisses over with. Freddie was later kissed by Sam in iOMG and it was revealed she had a major crush on him. They dated for a short while from iLost My Mind to iLove You, but broke up when they realized that they "didn't click". They did admit that they loved each other, but remained broken up. Their relationship evolved into a deeper version of their previous friendship: hanging out, exchanging barbs, etc. Their previous romance was brought up again in iPear Store when Sam mentions that she and Freddie dated for a while: "He's still in love with me, it's kinda sad". In iGoodbye, during an awkward phone call, Freddie asks Sam if she wants to get back together. Her answer is never fully established, as Freddie quickly changes the subject and they do not speak of it again.
(For details, see Seddie)

Spencer Shay

Best Buds(2005-2012; Friend, Neighbor)
Spencer seems to be something like a big brother to Freddie. Freddie usually asks him for advice (especially about girls) and enjoys hanging out with him when he needs "guy time" away from girls. We can also see that Freddie and Spencer work together as a team. (see: Fencer)

Gibby Gibson

Gibby and Freddie(2007–Present; Friends)
Before Gibby (Noah Munck) became a main character, Freddie barely interacted with him except for working on iCarly. The most notable situation between them was in iEnrage Gibby when Gibby thought Freddie tried to kiss his girlfriend. It is seen in many iCarly videos on their website that they hang out more. In Season 4, they are shown hanging out together in the episode iSam's Mom. In iGet Banned (Season 5), they form a fake band to get girls. (see: Fibby)

Girlfriends, Dates and Crushes

(In chronological order)

Valerie (2007)

Freddie and Valerie's one kiss (which he says was too short to count).Freddie had a brief relationship with Valerie in iWill Date Freddie, but broke up with her after learning that she was only using him to ruin iCarly for her own web show's gain. She was also mentioned in iKiss.

Shannon Mitchell (2008)

Shannon had an unrequited crush on Freddie in iWin a Date. They went on a triple date (along with Carly, Gibby, Sam, and Reuben) at the Cheesecake Warehouse, during which Carly and Freddie tried to persuade Shannon to like Gibby (who had a crush on Shannon) instead, without success. Freddie obviously didn't like her; he did it out of friendship for Gibby.

Rona Burger (2008; Alternate Reality only)

Rona was Freddie's girlfriend in the alternate reality of iChristmas. He seemed very unhappy in the relationship, as Rona was quite pushy, self-absorbed, mean,and obnoxious.

Melanie Puckett (2009)

Melanie and Freddie kiss in iTwins.In iTwins, Freddie (who believed that Sam's twin sister, Melanie, didn't exist and that Sam was simply playing a prank on him) asked Melanie for a date in an attempt to force her to admit that she was really Sam. During their date, Melanie tried to convince Freddie that she wasn't Sam by kissing him. Later, in iThink They Kissed, Freddie stated that he was pretty sure that the kiss was actually with Melanie and not Sam, although he said he was "still fuzzy on the whole Melanie thing." This indicated that he seems to have accepted Melanie as real, although in the actual episode Sam and Carly convince him she was just a fabrication..

Shelby Marx (2009)

Freddie had a crush on Shelby in iFight Shelby Marx. He made several awkward attempts to get her attention, but she repeatedly indicated that he was actually creeping her out.

Magic Malika (2009)

An eccentric girl who likes to perform magic tricks, Malika was one of three girls who asked Freddie to the Girls' Choice Dance in iSpeed Date. He had no interest in her, but agreed to go with her because he had waited too long to respond to the other two girls (who had found other dates). The date did not go well, because she made Freddie's cell phone float and a smoothie explode. After that she disappeared and was never seen again.

Jamie (2009)

Freddie mentions Jamie as one of the two girls who asked him to the Girls' Choice Dance.

Ariana (2009)

Freddie mentions Ariana as one of the two girls who asked him to the Girls' Choice Dance.


Carly Shay (Ex-Girlfriend, Best friend, Longtime Crush)

Despite him having a major crush on Carly ever since the show started, they only dated after he saved her from being run over by a truck in iSaved Your Life. They broke up at the end of the episode because he wanted to be sure that he wasn't taking advantage of her if she liked him only for what he did. In iOpen A Restaurant it is revealed that Freddie again has a little "crush" on Carly. He even asked her, "Is it too late for you to love me?" She did not answer because she was taken off guard and then they got interrupted. In the Series Finale, iGoodbye, Carly kissed Freddie and he raised both fists in the air. (For details, see Creddie)

Leslie (2010; Date)

Freddie reluctantly agreed to go on a double date (along with Spencer) with Leslie in iWas A Pageant Girl. He showed little interest in Leslie, and both girls left after being ignored for most of the night, while Freddie and Spencer battled in the "Who am I?" game.

Sabrina Gibson (2010)

Sabrina and Freddie.Freddie spent several nights video-chatting with Gibby's cousin, Sabrina, in iBeat the Heat. Despite some initial romantic interest, the two never became anything more than friends, because when they met in person, Freddie was put off by Sabrina's much greater height. (In the extended version of this episode, Freddie gave up his interest in Sabrina after she accidentally destroyed Carly's class project, indicating that he still had feelings for her at the time).

Three Unnamed Ridgeway Girls (2011)

In iPity The Nevel A random group of three Ridgeway girls all mentioned they thought Freddie was hot at Nevel's "Karma" party after the Fredward Cullen sketch. They were again seen saying that he should do more Fredward Cullen sketches at the Groovie Smoothie before he went out with Patrice.

Patrice (2011)

Patrice asked Freddie for a date in iPity The Nevel
after seeing his vampire impression on iCarly. However, when Gibby showed up (dressed as a werewolf) at the Groovie Smoothie while they were on their date, Patrice decided she was "more into the werewolf type", followed by Gibby entering the room dressed werewolf-like. When Freddie angrily shouts, "Gibby, you have a girlfriend!" Gibby responds with, "We're not exclusive." before he and Patrice leave the Groovie Smoothie together.

Sam Puckett (Sixth grade - present, Ex-Girlfriend, Best friend, Possible Admirer.)


Sam and Freddie shared their first kiss in iKiss (just to "get it over with."). After she kissed him in iOMG, they became a couple in iLost My Mind. They broke up at the end of iLove You, and then said that they loved each other. In iPear Store, Sam mentioned that she and Freddie dated for a while. She also said, "He's still in love with me, it's kinda sad,". And in iGoodbye, Freddie asks if she wants to get back together, she responses "What?.. Wait do you..?" and changes the subject, leaving the question unanswered. Making the fans wonder if Freddie still has feelings for her, and vice versa. (For details, see Seddie).


Freddie's Random Spanish Outbursts

Freddie often speaks Spanish phrases and words throughout the iCarly series, some of which make sense, while most times it is random and does not pertain to the subject to which the other characters are speaking. His Spanish speaking is rubbing off on other characters, like Carly and Sam. There is an underlying reason to Freddie's random Spanish, a reason that Dan Schneider says he will reveal in a future Season 4 episode. A theory among fans is that the tracking chip implanted by Freddie's mother is malfunctioning. (The chip was inserted by a "questionable" Venezuelan doctor.) In the iCarly Series Finale, iGoodbye, Gibby asks Freddie why does he sometimes talk on Spanish. Freddie wanted to answer, but the guy at the kiosk interrupted him and it is never revealed why.
Season 2
iWant My Website Back *"Cómo?" - means "how?".
iMust Have Locker 239 *"Arriba!" - a Spanish exclamation of happiness or approval or up.
iDate A Bad Boy *"Buenos días, muchacha(lata)s!" - means "Good morning, girls!"
Season 3
iCook *"Queso" - means "cheese"; *"Fantástico" - means "fantastic"; *"Gracias" - means "thank you"; *"Carne" - means "meat".
iCarly Awards *"Con mucho gusto" - means "I'd like to" *"Hula gusto!" - Hula refers to Hula hoops while *"gusto" means "like" or "pleasure"..
iHave My Principals *"Pantalones" - means "pants"; *"Arriba" - a Spanish exclamation of happiness or approval.
iMove Out *"Casa de Freddo" - means/meant to mean "house of Freddie", "Freddie's house" or "House of the Freddo."

iSaved Your Life *"Agua" - means "water".
iQuit iCarly *"Hola, David." - means "Hello, Dave/David.".
iSpace Out *"Maravilloso" - means "marvelous.".
iFix a Pop Star *"Señor" - means "sir" or "mister"; *"finalmente" - means "finally"; *"Calcetín" - means "sock".
iBelieve in Bigfoot *"El-Foo-tah-jee-gantico" - not Spanish, just a Spanish-sounding way to say "Bigfoot". *"Interesante" - means "interesting"
iWon't Cancel The Show *"Los frijoles calientes queman mis pantalones, hoooooooo!!" - means "The hot beans burn my pants, hoooooooo!!!".
iPsycho *"Feliz Navidad" - means "Merry Christmas", although it would have made sense if he had said "Feliz Cumpleaños" (happy birthday), as he said it in a message for Gibby wishing him a happy birthday. *"Adiós" - means "goodbye." *"Veo" - means "look".
iBeat the Heat *"Tubos yellos" - technically not Spanish, just meant to sound as if he were saying "yellow tubes" in Spanish. *"Ungüento" - means "ointment".
Season 4
iGot a Hot Room *"Aquí" - means "here".
iGet Pranky *"Ocho" - means "eight".
iSell Penny-Tees *"Queso" - means "cheese".
iDo *"Albóndigas" - means "meatballs".
iStart a Fanwar *"Chorizo" - means "sausage"; *"por fin" - means "finally".
iStill Psycho *"Cabeza" - means "head";
"Pañal" - means "diaper"; *"Correcto" - means "correct"
iToe Fat Cakes *"Estados Unidos" - means "United States"
Season 5
iApril Fools *"Sí, pelo largo" - means "Yes, long hair"; *"Niños" - means "kids"
iGo One Direction "Hola" - means "Hi" or "Hello"; "Carne" - means "meat"
iShock America *"Gigante!" - means "Big" or "Giant"
iFind Spencer Friends *"Grande" - means "Large"
iGoodbye *" Cabeza Duplicada" - means "Duplicated head"
Trivia
Freddie is the only main character in the show without a sibling (Carly has a brother named Spencer, a fellow main character, Sam has a twin sister named Melanie, and Gibby has a brother named Guppy).
In iRescue Carly it was revealed that Freddie had formerly taken ballet lessons, most likely due to the fact that Mrs. Benson wanted a daughter.
Freddie is more hyperactive in iPilot than in other episodes though he remains fairly energetic throughout the rest of the series.
Freddie and Gibby are the only main characters that did not have a birthday episode.
Freddie's new Penny-T
In iDate Sam & Freddie, it is revealed Freddie has lost some of his hearing. This became known when Sam revealed she first started liking him after she pushed him into a bike messenger. The bike messenger accidentally knocked Freddie down and his head hit a fire hydrant. He laid there moaning with blood coming out of his ears. Freddie personally believes it was worth the hearing loss.
His ex-girlfriend and best friend is Carly Shay.
Freddie wore a new Penny T in iDate Sam & Freddie. It was gray and had the phrase, "Penny Tease" on it in red letters.
The audience finds out that Freddie knows about the tracking chip his mother put in his head in iDate Sam & Freddie.

His "before the start of the webshow" countdown ("In 5...4...3...2...!") can be considered a catchphrase, even outside the webshow. He used it in iWas A Pageant Girl, iGive Away a Car, and he mocked Sam for saying the "1" in iTake on Dingo ("You don't say the one!"). Also, in iHire An Idiot, he started the countdown, but as he reaches the end, Cort unexpectedly yells, "ONE!" much to his annoyance. This was reenacted in iLost My Mind, when Freddie does the countdown, and the mental patients shout "ONE!!!" Carly omitted the "one" when she did the countdown (iKiss). It's mentioned again in iChristmas when Carly explains that she doesn't understand why he omits the one, but she likes it anyway. Freddie does say the one in iFight Shelby Marx, but this is in a countdown to the end of a fight. He also skipped it when Sam rolls him from the couch in iStill Psycho. He also used it (without the one) in iFind Lewbert's Lost Love when he was about to roll the scene where Martha, Lewbert's ex-girlfriend was about to enter the building, much to Carly's annoyance. This countdown was also made the introduction in the iCarly opening theme.
Not saying "1" is a common practice amongst camerapeople when they do countdowns.
Freddie has cried four times so far: in iWanna Stay with Spencer (because he was upset Carly was leaving); in iPromise Not to Tell (because he thought he was going to juvie); in iQuit iCarly (because he didn't want Carly and Sam to split up); and iFix a Pop Star (because he was forked in the shoulder and was under a lot of pain).
Freddie is allergic to bees (mentioned in iSpy a Mean Teacher) and onions (mentioned in Sam's Christmas Blog on iCarly.com).
The equipment on his cart includes an old TV antenna, a PlayStation Controller, and a dashboard. Most of the equipment on the cart are things Nathan Kress doesn't even recognize.
During the Drake & Josh days, Dan Schneider had cast Nathan Kress as Toplin, a nerdy boy who had a crush on Megan Parker (Drake's sister and Josh's stepsister, played by Miranda Cosgrove) in the episode "Battle of the Panthatar." However, when he saw the potential Kress had, he gave him a character on iCarly, this time as a boy who had a massive crush on Carly (also played by Miranda Cosgrove). As for Toplin's scenes, they were ultimately cut, because the producers were worried that the young Nickelodeon fans would be confused by seeing Nathan on Drake & Josh playing a character similar to Freddie.
In iGet Pranky, Freddie revealed that he was a Boy Scout (although he should have been a Boy Sprout, since on the show, the Girl Scouts are known as the Girl Sprouts).
Freddie can Fence, and is a member of the Ridgeway High School Fencing Club. In iMeet Fred, he is also said to be a member of the Junior Bow and Arrow Club, as well as the Mathletes (iSaw Him First). He is also a member of the AV Club.
In iMove Out, it is revealed that Freddie's mom, Marissa Benson, kept him inside her for eleven months ("I wanted to make sure you were done!").
Freddie is the only member of the main cast who hasn't gotten a birthday episode yet.
Freddie's star sign is an Aquarius.
In the second season, Freddie's voice got lower due to puberty, although it's noticeable that his voice slowly gets lower as the finale of the first season approaches.
In a promo for an episode, it shows a timeline of the episodes. Freddie's name is misspelled when it shows the title of the episode - iWill Date Freddy (instead of the actual title, iWill Date Freddie).
As of iLost My Mind, Freddie has had three girlfriends. Coincidentally, all three of them are (or were) web show hosts.
In iApril Fools it is implied that Freddie MAY have kids with Sam or Carly in the future.
Freddie is the first main character to get kissed (on the nose by Carly), and the first main character to get kissed on the lips (by Valerie), although in iKiss, he reveals he has never kissed anyone.
In the May 4, 2012 episode of the NBC series "Who Do You Think You Are?", featuring the ancestry of actress Rashida Jones' mother, it is revealed that "Benson" is a Jewish surname that originated in Latvia.
Freddie has had one job throughout the show in iPear Store at the Pear Store.
Freddie was supposed to be born in December but his mom was pregnant with him for 11 months-2 more months than she should have so he was born in February.
Freddie likes baseball (As revealed in iToe Fat Cakes).
It is revealed in iRescue Carly that Freddie used to take ballet lessons.[2]
Freddie says the last line of the series "And we're clear."
In iSaved Your Life, it was shown that Freddie had a huge picture of Carly on his closet door.
It seems as though Freddie frequently wore striped shirts in season 1, which may explain why Sam hated him so much, considering the fact Sam hates stripes.
"I can never love you, either. You're a bra!"
In the Sam & Cat special, The Killer Tuna Jump, Freddie revealed he still has feelings for Sam.
Freddie was the first iCarly star to appear on Sam & Cat. (second if you include Sam since she is the main character.)
Freddie appeared in an episode of Sam & Cat called #TheKillerTunaJump. In one episode however, Sam contacted Freddie off screen to trace an IP address.
In a 2019 interview for NickRewind, Anthony Padilla asked Nathan Kress what Freddie would be up to today. Kress initially replied by saying Freddie would have moved to Palo Alto and met a cute programmer, but after thinking about it some more he and Padilla agreed Freddie would still be living with his mom.[3]
Freddie's Spanish outbursts are in English instead in both the Latin American Spanish and Castilian Spanish dubs.
According to Nathan Kress in the official iCarly locker tour video by Nickelodeon, Freddie really wanted to learn to drive at some point.
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2020.11.26 18:51 ArkhamBois19 Marc and the writers ruined Black Canary in the early seasons and other characters overall.

I have been doing some reading on Earth 1 Laurel Lance's death.
First, let me explain how I got into the Arrow-verse. I have always been a Flash fan and when I found out the Flash was being made into a TV show I decided to watch it. I then realized that Green Arrow had a show thanks to the season 1 Flash crossover, I decided to watch Arrow. Arrow made me like these characters so I decided to go read some comics and watch the animated TV series. And then I decided to re-watch Arrow.
Marc ruined a bunch of characters on the show.
The black canary was made in 1947. Arrow came out in 2012. Laurel became the black canary in season three in 2016. Marc then decides to kill borrow a season later in season four after only being the black canary for one season or about a year because there was not any more story to tell for her even though the character has been around for 69 years by the time we get a 2016 in season four. I call Mark full of shit. You mean to tell me that Laurel became the Black Canary because her sister died and then once her sister was brought back to life she was killed and they was no more story for her to tell even though you kept the actor around and gave what could've been Earth 1 Laurel's story to Earth 2 Laurel story. Me personally, I think the reason there was no more story to tell for Laurel is because you deviate from the comics so much. If you had stayed with the comics and had Oliver and Laurel get married that would've opened up a whole bunch of stories for the two of them. But because you have Oliver and felicity get married you ran out of green arrow stories that include the black canary and green arrow... But that can't be the case because when you introduce Dinah Drake the first black canary who in the show isn't related to the laurel which she should be.
Marc also ruined Oliver. The show is about green arrow but for some reason it feels like Felicity is in charge. She's the one that's always bossing everyone around even though she's the one in the cave, sitting in the chair, in everybody's ear while he's actually out in the field fighting. Oliver just lets everybody walk all over him and blame him for everything when he's the one that actually trying to save them. The first couple seasons were great because Oliver was in charge but once Felicity became the boss that's when most of the problem arose.
By having Oliver marry Felicity you end up ruining Connor Hawke who is supposed to be Oliver and Laurel's son but instead because Oliver marries Felicity Connor hawk then become the son of John and Lyla because he was adopted.
All of these problems are not on the actors I love the actors. Stephen, Emily, Katie, they were all great. These problems come from the writers who decided to deviate from the source material causing them to feel as if there was no more story to tell for certain characters thus ruining the other characters.
What do you think???
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2020.11.26 17:29 JosiLeagueTaway 2020 - Week 11: Playoffs Coming Into Focus/TURKEY FOOTBALL DAY!

Week 11 Summary

First off, how bout them Titans?! This playoff rematch had it all. A spat at mid-field before the game, overtime, Corey Davis with 100 receiving yards… Everything. It was a beautiful 4th quarter rally from a Titans offense that has struggled as of late to take a late lead (AJ BROWN IS A BEAST!), only for the Ravens to come right down the field and tie it with a last second field goal. Thankfully we never let them touch the ball in OT, as Derrick Henry unleashed a jump cut that I didn’t know he had before jogging in a 20+ yard TD for the win. These teams are in remarkably similar situations, both being playoff bound but with some serious question marks on offense the last several weeks. Lamar Jackson’s severe accuracy struggles continued, and this team won’t go very far if his play doesn’t drastically improve. It wasn’t all good news for the Titans, as we suffered multiple new injuries, including losing stud LB Jayon Brown for the rest of the season.
In the Josi League, we had upsets all over the place. Tee lost to Randy, Tootie lost to Doyle, Connor lost to me, and Clint even lost to Travis! The only two favored teams who won this week were Amanda and Jessica H, who clinched a playoff spot with a win over Jess C. Unfortunately with all these upsets, a lot of the playoff intrigue disappeared. I’ll get all into the details below, but the race for the last two playoff spots includes only 3 teams now. I don’t have a whole lot of time to write the note this week with us hosting our little Thanksgiving at the new house this year and football starting tomorrow, so let’s get into it! (Skipping the MVP/LVP’s.)

Matchup Rundown

Randy (7-4) vs. Tee (9-2): Goodamn, Randy with the power moves towards the playoffs! Tee has been coasting through the season schedule, but not in Week 11. The Queefs were absolutely clobbered by the Hotel in a 45 point beating, despite scoring 120 himself! Randy’s team just absolutely went off here. Keenan Allen had a monstrous 19 targets as the WR #1 in fantasy this week and hung up 35.88 fantasy points in our league. The Titans were back to their winning ways, Darren Walrus was a beast against the Chiefs, and Melvin Gordon even got into the end zone twice. (Side note: Can fumbling on the goal line be termed “a Melvin Gordon” at this point? Should have been 3 TDs, but he pulled his specialty again.) Tee’s team had a solid week with Devante Adams continuing to dominate at will when healthy and Antonio Gibson having emerged as a clear top 10 RB option at this point, but it wasn’t even close to enough. The loss didn’t matter for Tee, but the win meant the world to Randy, who now finds himself squarely in playoff position and controlling his own destiny.
Amanda (7-4) vs. Stephen (4-7): Amanda’s team was great in Week 11, but I can’t quite get over the lineup goofs that were made in this matchup. HOW DID NEITHER TEAM IMPACTED BY THE TAYSOM HILL STARTING NEWS REACT ACCORDINGLY?! A real news bombshell was dropped on the ESPN fantasy football community mid-way through last week, and it was that Taysom Hill (eligible at TE on ESPN’s platform) would be the starting QB for the Saints in Week 11. So of course that meant Amanda, who had diligently held Hill ALL SEASON FOR THIS MOMENT would plop him right into her TE slot for a massive cheat code, the likes of which have never been seen a single time in all of fantasy football, right? Nope. She started Mike Gesicki, who scored 15 points less than Hill. Then on Stephen’s side, it meant he obviously had to bench Jameis Winston for anybody who would actually be playing QB in Week 11, right? Nope. Hats off to Stephen for getting 120 points out of a lineup that featured no QB, but c’mon… The news that Winston wouldn’t be the guy was out for 4 days before the game! Stephen’s two Chiefs were amazing in the Sunday night game, but two good players and a defense that totally balled out weren’t enough to overcome Amanda’s full lineup. Chase Edmonds is proving to be a late round treasure in consistently outscoring Drake as the “backup” on his own team. So Amanda gets one step closer to making the playoffs as Stephen finally goes plummeting to 11th place.
Alex (4-7) vs. Connor (5-6): In what proved to be a real nail-biter in a matchup between two teams hitting their stride later in the season, I thought I had the win in the bag early. The Falcons were absolutely brutal in Week 11, and Connor started Matt Ryan and Hayden Hurst for a combined 3.32 points. Holy crap, that was the worst stack imaginable this week. So after the noon games, I thought I was cruising here. Then Adam Thielen struck. Thielen has had some ups and downs this year, but solidified himself as a top 10 option with this Week 11 performance of 2 scores and 123 yards. Between Thielen and a solid showing from the Chargers D, I found myself down by a little less than 20 headed into SNF with CEH and my Bucs D left. CEH proceeded to have on of his best fantasy games of the season where he found the end zone a couple times to give me a 2 point lead, yielding a truly odd situation. Defenses have had a brutal fantasy season this year and have gone negative at a rate we have never seen before. (The rule changes on penalties are clearly to blame, but that’s another discussion.) I had a full 24 hours to mull over whether to play my defense or trust the ESPN scoring that I had enough points for the win already. I decided at the last second to play my D and trust they would have a decent game… and boy was I sweating for the entire MNF game! The Bucs wound up scoring a whopping 1.92, and that was with 2 picks! So this came down to the wire more than I would have liked, but when the dust settled, I wound up winning by 5. It was an especially tough break to lose to my pitiful team when he needed to win out for a chance at the playoffs. With a loss to Potatoes, Connor has been eliminated from playoff contention.
Jessica H (8-3) vs. Jess C. (4-7): This one also looked like it was over early, but that was actually the case here. In our annual Battle of the Jessicas, Jess C never had much in the way of hope in this matchup, as Jessica H’s team had its best week since Week 5. Jessica came in needing just one victory to secure a playoff spot in the final two weeks, and she got it right away. Zeke was suddenly back in form after going 5 weeks without scoring double-digits, as was Mark MANdrews whose last 20 point game was in Week 4. By the time Sunday wrapped up, Jessica had a comfortable lead with Robert Woods going against Gronk. Welp, Woods had his best game of the season (maybe career?) on 12 catches for 130 yards and a score. So this got pretty ugly by the time MNF was over. Without CMC, Jess’s team was gutted this season, and now after back-to-back sub-100 point losses, even I have overtaken this early season juggernaut in our standings. Ouch. A 50 yard surprise TD run from Tony Pollard and her Steelers D playing the Jags saved this from getting truly ugly.
Doyle (5-6) vs. Tootie (6-5): Oof, what the hell happened to the Tacklers in Week 11?! On paper this was a gimme win for Tootie, who also really needed a W in any form to try and secure a playoff spot. But Doyle wasn’t having any of that! Honestly this was more about the disappearing act that all of the studs on the Tacklers pulled though. Julio Jones, Jamison Crowder, and Hollywood “Bust of the Year” Brown combined for less than 10 points between the three of them. Even Alvin Kamara and Josh Jacobs both barely broke into double-digits for some fairly mediocre totals. Doyle had huge duds in Malcolm Brown and Travis Fulgham, but then every single other player on his team scored between 14 and 18 points. Justin Jefferson was a huge waiver add for Doyle after a very stupid cut on my part, Corey Davis is having the best season of his career, and Antonio Brown has immediately become a solid FLEX option for the Cat Dad. 118 points was plenty to get the job done in Week 11 against a Tackler squad out of sorts. Lots to discuss for Tootie below in the Playoff Preview, as she suddenly finds herself on the outside of the bubble.
Travis (2-9) vs. Clint (5-6): Ohhhhhhh WOW! I think I said something about nothing’s impossible in fantasy football when previewing this must-win matchup for Clint against cellar-dwelller Travis? Well that came to fruition as Travis got his second win of the season in epic fashion. Travis damn-near doubled Clint’s meager 66 points in Week 11. Again, this was a must-win for Clint to make the playoffs, and given the two teams on paper, this result is seriously shocking to me. Across the board, it was a huge down-week for all of Clint’s players. RoJo put up a pathetic 2 points in MNF, Tee Higgins suffered in a game where he lost his QB for the season, and Jakeem Grant (who had 3 out of his last 4 games >10) was a 3 point mistake. Even his Ravens D had a terrible week in allowing 30 to the Titans. On Travis’s team, Michael Thomas is finally back! That and two other 20+ WR performances from Lockett and Samuel powered Travis to a blowout win. What a spoiler.

Playoff Preview

1) Tee (*) - (9-2; 1,583.61)
- Good to know that this team can be beaten and maybe won’t coast through the playoffs like our 1 seed did last year. At this point the season scoring record looks to be out of reach, unless the Queefs can pull off some crazy 200+ in Week 12.
2) Jessica H. (x) - (8-3; 1,310.47)
- Our only other team to clinch playoffs before the final week of the season is the 8-3 Taint. By winning against Jess C this past week and Tootie losing, no one outside the top 4 teams has a chance at topping her in the regular season. She may be 8th in scoring, but someone in this house has made the playoffs! Yes, I’m glomming onto her for some shared glory here. I’m desperate. While the playoffs are definitely in her future, her seed has yet to be determined. A win next week will wrap up the 2 seed, but a loss will almost surely result in her being the 3 or 4 seed. If Amanda or Randy wins in Week 12 while Jessica loses, she would be the 3. If both win, she would be the 4. Connor is her matchup for Week 12, and if I had to prognosticate (which I’m obviously never right about) I would say the advantage is clearly on Connor’s side.
3) Amanda - (7-4; 1,412.21)
- Amanda made big moves in Week 11, but her regular season finish is still very much up in the air. She plays Tee in Week 12, which hasn’t been easy for anybody. A win and she’s in. If Jessica loses on top of her winning, she would almost certainly be the 2 seed (unless Randy outscored her massively). A loss, and it gets complicated. If Randy and Tootie were both to lose as well, Amanda would likely remain the 3 seed. If only one of Randy or Tootie wins, Amanda would slip to the 4 seed. If both Tootie and Randy win, a loss for Amanda would boot her out of the dance. It’s a really bad week to draw Tee, but last week resoundingly proved that his team can be beatable.
4) Randy - (7-4; 1,374.66)
- The biggest win of all in Week 11 was Randy’s stomping of Tee. The league’s worst participant was out of playoff position last week, but by beating the best team in our league and Tootie losing to Doyle, he finds himself looking to repeat highly unlikely playoff appearances. His team is honestly quite good. RBs Derrick Henry and Aaron Jones are a hell of 1,2 punch, while Keenan Allen and newly healthy Chris Godwin bring the heat at WR. He faces Doyle in Week 12, where a win would lock him in. The 2 seed is actually within reach if he wins and Jessica and Amanda lose in front of him. If Randy loses though, all it would take is a Tootie victory to eliminate him. With Amanda’s 40 point lead, she could lose and easily maintain her lead on Randy.
5) Tootie - (6-5; 1,470.90)
- Oh no! Of these three teams in the running that haven’t clinched, I felt the best about Tootie’s chances last week! With the bed-pooping that happened in Week 11, she now finds herself in a must-win matchup against yours truly. Given that my team blows chunks on the reg, her getting a win shouldn’t be too much of a problem, but then she still needs a loss from either Amanda or Randy. If both Amanda and Randy win next week, Tootie will be eliminated based on record. If she can just get into tie-breaker situation with either team though, her 2nd place point total will get her into the dance. If both Amanda and Randy lose, and Tootie beats me, Tootie could get the 3 seed.

Week 12 Preview

Woooo Thanksgiving football time!! Who will completely forget how early football starts tomorrow and fuck up their lineup?! As we get into the holiday season here, it gets tougher to remember to make those crucial lineup changes. Let’s take a look at the action in our final regular season week.
The most anticipated matchup for me is the meeting between Tee and Amanda, where Amanda could really use a win. She doesn’t necessarily need it as I’ve covered, but it would lock up the playoffs. The next most impactful would be Randy vs. Doyle, where a win for Randy means playoffs as well. In the best proxy I have for a playoff matchup this season, I’m pretty stoked to get to play Tootie in the final week. Our matchup has all sorts of playoff implications, as Tootie beating me could boot one of Randy or Amanda out. Then we have Jessica H vs. Connor, who I would bet is out for blood after being eliminated from the playoffs as a top 4 scoring team on the year. In fact Jessica is the low scoring team that got matchup luck and dashed Connor’s playoffs dreams. Spicy. Our last two matchups with zero implications are Clint vs. Stephen and Jess C vs. Travis. Lot of pride on the line in those two. Enjoy a worry-free last week of fantasy football, you guys!
NO BYES IN WEEK 12! A much needed break from BYE season comes this week, so enjoy your full lineups this week!
Good luck in Week 12 everyone, and Happy Turkey Day!
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2020.11.26 11:18 Kgy_T My humble guide on Pyke - Criticism and tips are more than welcome!

This started off as a comment by the way...also it is all experience based, with a spoon of afterthoughts.
General tips: Hold onto your E as long as you can, it's the core of your champ. Hold you R reset as long as possible, who knows if you'll need it. Don't dream too big, pay attention to your team. Scout the enemy before teamfights by being a "living ward" in your W. Shh, risk your ADCs life if it'd pay off...
Laning: In lane(bot as supp), you can either stomp the enemy, or play incredibly secure, only engaging when delivered a gank. Which case is which?
Well, hard CC supports and ADCs make your life a living hell, especiall if they are also tanky. In those cases: you want to just Q one of them, and let your ADC poke them slowly to the point where it's safe to assume you'll get an R reset on full engage, however, until then you do not want to fully commit, if that means using your E to go in rather than holding onto it to stay safe.
On the other hand, healers and enchanters are usually pretty squishy, meaning you want to prioritise them over their ADC, because in the early stages of the game ADCs are not a threat to you unless the trade/fight is incredibly extended, but the slaughter of the enemy supp won't be, thus leaving the enemy ADC with no support, and you slipping away, waiting for your ADC to get the job done, and then finishing it all with the reset you have left. So as long as you manage to avoid getting CCd in the process, you should be fine. Also, your R ignores shields.
Teamfights: In teamfights Pyke can be incredibly powerful, thanks to both his significant abilities(E and Ult) being AoEs. When approaching a teamfight you have to be careful about nothing but CC, once you get caught in a CC you're pretty much dead. But other than that you're free to do whatever you feel like, you can either pick out their frontline with a Q and try to dismantle him with your ADC and the rest of the team before the fight even starts, or you can dive straight into the backline with a well coordinated engage combo(see down below). A common mistake of even mine, is automatically assuming I have a team that follows up.
YOU CAN NOT 1V5 NO MATTER HOW FED YOU ARE, WITHOUT A TEAM!
Your purpose in a teamfight is to set up everything for your team with an E, and then help them clear up the strategically won mess with your R.
Roaming: Pyke is excellent at roaming so don't be shy, if your botlane gets boring you can go mid with only 5 levels even, and still pick up a free summoner or kill. Later on Pyke is like a Nocturne, except you're just a tiny-miny bit slower, in return have no CD on your "Nocturne Ult", here referring to Mobi Boots paired up with your W. In my opinion, Pykes laning phase on bot ends as soon as he gets a Mobis and a Prowlers. From there you can go mid, top, or even harass their jungler in his own jungle if you're fed enough. In the late game you can go wherever you please, which means you can deny the enemys vision on the whole map with your Mobis, Umbral Glaive and Sweeper.
Picks: Basically what you want to do, is always be one step ahead of your enemies. If they have a flash, heal, dash...anything of the sort you want to force it, unless they are getting too far away, then you have to risk shit. Another thing is, your abilities are incredibly powerful, so if you want to utilize them correctly you have to be also one step ahead of yourself, so what you want to do is for example: you Q + E in on a low enemy - you know that the E will 80% hit them, but you don't R instantly after Eing even though you know it would PROBABLY land, instead you wait out your E animation to finish and only then R if they in fact get stunned. This will save you the misery of missing obvious and easy kills. It is easy to be overconfident on the champ and then misplay off that horribly. But when you don't you could force flashes, dashes and heals before you still claim your prize, because of your incredible utility and mobility.
Now I do know my runes and build are not meta efficient, however I'd still like to share them just in case someone finds any of it helpful.
For runes I take: ELECTROCUTE, to have that sweet early game damage, and to piss off late game adcs by 1v1ing them,
Sudden Impact, because it synergises so well with both Pykes W, E and Ult.
Eyeball Collection, you'll be killing a lot, might as well get damage for it.
Ingenius Hunter, just so your broken ass Prowlers Claw will be up more.
+
Legend: Tenacity, so you'll get lockdowned and eventually killed less, even when you misplay.
Coup de Grace: this way you'll aas will deal more damage, and just in general you'll get the enemy to Ult HP faster.
+
CD reduction, so you can get a bit careless with your E and Q. Armor, for a bit of defense. HP, for a bit of extra Attack Damage.
MY build for support is:
For starters Steel Shoulderguards, because both the AD and HP stats come in handy, thank your passive.
Boots of Mobility, for the extra roaming power, go mid, go drake, or just get an easier engage on lane.
Prowlers Claw, for the easy double/triple and God knows how multiplied stuns with your E, also an easy escape tool, as it can be used on minions as well, also for those sweet extra lethality points on later items! Umbral Glaive, for vision control, and with that comes even more extra gold.
Yoomus, for cross map roams, and overall just fucking around, collecting every pick you can.
Phantom Dancer, for the extra attack spoeed after your combos, kind of a replacement for Hail of Blades.
MY build for midlane is(probably dogshit cause I never played him there):
For starters: Dorans Blade + Health Potion /OR Rejuvenation Bead + Long Sword cheese that builds into
Tiamat, for the waveclear, and Combat Rune procs/synergies, also sustain.
Duskblade, for the easy escape after picking up a kill off getting ganked, and for Ability Haste on all your following items, letting you use your E a bit more.
Boots of Mobility, for roaming power and the freedom of backing whenever you wish to.
Sanguine Blade, for sustain and 1v1 potential, also additional lethality.
Steraks Gauge, for tankiness and the additional AD bonus, see: your passive.
Dead Mans Plate, for catching up with enemies, and granting you even more AD.
In both builds the order in which you buy the items is important, as it is only working that way! Well...if they work at all that is, but it worked for me.
Also a combo list:
Anywhere in these you can include a Prowlers after E of course, that's a given :)
Basic combos:
long Q + E + aas :for picking out of position adcs/squishies.
short Q + E :for close combat, even though you shouldn't get in any of the sort in the first place imo.
long Q/short Q + aas + E : if you have the chase-space to hold your stun.
Tricky combos: long Q + E + Prowlers + flash : for teamfight stuns, incredibly dangerous if you get CCd while performing it, but if not, the payoff is huge with a good team that follows up.
E + Prowlers + R : not recommending it in early cause you lose your execution for a reposition(unless you use it on execute too), but in late could be very useful as most players don't see it coming/pick up on your plan fast enough.
E + Prowlers/Flash + long Q : to pick out backlines while thir front watches in terror, stunned.
+EXTRA ANTI-CHASE COMBO - walk back into the enemy, or hook one of them over your head while escaping and then E the hell out of there, in both cases they will stop to aa you or something and get caught in your stun.
Alright, that's pretty much all I know, however I only play normals so if that's a turn-off for you, I sincerely apologise.
~ A fellow Pyke semi-OTP 670k, double eternals M7 still playing ofc
Edit: I might've left some things out, feel free to ask!
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2020.11.26 08:57 pyhnux Finished my bingo card for 2020

Obvious disclaimer: This post is my opinion, and everyone is free to think otherwise
I finished my bingo card, so its once again time for me to share my thoughts on the books I've read.
Like last year, I tracked my Challenge rating (CR) - I gave each book a CR between 1-5 based on how likely I was to read it without the bingo. 1 mean I was going to read it anyway, 2-3 mean somewhere on my TBR list, 4 mean it was so low on my TBR list that it had no real chance to be read and 5 mean I found it as part of the search for the bingo or that I was never going to read it without the bingo.
Also, warning: I'll try to mark major spoilers, but I might not hide smaller ones.
Novel Translated from its Original Language: I'm trying to start reading light novels, so for this square I've read Spice and Wolf volume 1 by Isuna Hasekura. It was intriguing enough that I will continue to volume 2 in the hope it becomes more economy based later on. CR 5
Setting Featuring Snow, Ice, or Cold: For this square I've read Within the Sanctuary of Wings by Marie Brennan. Even though I really didn't like some of the choices made by this book and think it is by far the worst book in the series, it is still a great book and a solid ending to an amazing series. CR 2
Optimistic SFF: I love The Dragon's Banker by Scott Warren so much. it's a wonderful book and I highly recommend it, although I must say I've never read a book that so aggressively established the protagonist as a good person. This book gave me a real itch for economic based books, and if anyone reading this have recommendations I would love to hear them. The only part of the book that I didn't enjoy as much was when the protagonist was robbed, since that section didn't have any economy in it CR 3
Novel Featuring Necromancy: If I had to choose one word to some up my bingo experience this year it would be shuffling. The quarantine making it difficult to get books coupled with my goal of 3.5 average CR meant I constantly shuffled books all over the place. Necromancy was one of the squares that was shuffled the most, with A Declaration of the Rights of Magicians by H.G. Parry as the third book to fill the square, and in itself shuffled here from another square. A Declaration of the Rights of Magicians is an alternate history novel following Europe (and Haiti) around the time of the French Revolution but with magic (and magic oppression). While the magic is a significant part of the novel, the book is very close to the actual historical accounts. This is both its greatest strength and greatest weakness - The fascination of seeing the familiar history with magic carries the first book in the series, but the second book could face a lose-lose situation: if it continue to closely follow historic events than you should just go and read a history book, and if it breaks with history the main appeal of the book will be lost. Still, the book was very enjoyable, and my only major criticism is the depiction of Robespierre I think that depicting him as being manipulated into doing all the things he did paint him in a better light than the real historical person deserves . Also, a warning to anyone considering picking it - the book manages to make the already horrendous international slave trade even more horrific. CR 5
Ace / Aro Spec Fic: For this square I read the Baker Thief by Claudie Arseneault, and the only positive thing I can say is that the cover is nice. CR 5
Novel Featuring a Ghost: After some deliberation on the meaning of the words "ghost" and "featuring" I settled on Ghost Talkers by Mary Robinette Kowal, an alternate history novel about a corps of mediums during WWI. It's a great book that uses the history as the setting and not as the plot. Highly recommend. CR 5
Novel Featuring Exploration: For this square I've read We Are Legion (We Are Bob) by Dennis E. Taylor, and while I have some problems with parts of the setup, the overall book is great, and I'm definitely going to read the sequel. CR 1
Climate Fiction: I knew I would likely hate The Water Knife by Paolo Bacigalupi even before I read it, but I didn't expect it to make me as angry as it did. The damage books like this cause is unbelievable. The insufferable tone combined with insane ideas and with straight up false information make a big pile of garbage disguised as book. CR 5
Novel with a Colour in the Title: Another shuffled square! planed to read a different book, but I had to raise my CR and landed on Blackwing by Ed McDonald, a grim book about being a pawn in a fight against an undefeatable enemy. A solid read, but I think the ending is satisfactory and probably won't continue to the sequel. CR 3
Any fantasy Book Club Book of the Month OR fantasy Read-along Book: For this square I've read God of Gnomes by Demi Harper, a great variant in the LitRPG genre, being based on RTS games rather than traditional RPG games. The setting, characters and story are all great, and I greatly recommend it. CR 1
Self-Published SFF Novel: Unsouled by Will Wight is a great book that gives the feel of a training montage. Already ordered the sequel. CR 2
Novel with Chapter Epigraphs: another highly shuffled square, with 2 other books to fill it before, and The Library of the Unwritten by A.J. Hackwith in itself shuffled from another square. A very meh books with some good points, like Valhalla . I'm getting really tired with the "Heaven are the bad guys" trope. CR 5
Novel Published in 2020: shuffles once again! In the end I landed on The Devil and the Dark Water by Stuart Turton which is a solid Whodunit book on a ship. I think some of the characters are a little weak, but the way the book keeps you wondering if there is a supernatural element to the mystery or not is brilliant .CR 5
Novel Set in a School or University: I really wanted to read a book with a teacher protagonist for this square, but failed to find any. so I settled on the closest thing I found - Magic for Liars by Sarah Gailey - a detective story in a magical high school. Everything to do with magic and the magical high school is somewhere between solid and great, but unfortunately everything to do with the detective part of the story is bad. overall, a disappointing book. CR 5
Book About Books: Another highly shuffled square. At the end I landed on The Prophecy Con by Patrick Weekes after I've seen a rule clarification that books with book MacGuffin count for this square. The first book in the series already felt like the story of a D&D group, but this time it's even more so, down to (great) jokes like one of the antagonists having a really dumb fantasy name that the protagonists can't remember. CR 3
A Book that Made You Laugh: For this square I've read How a Realist Hero Rebuilt the Kingdom Volume 1 by Dojyomaru, which was shuffled here from the translated novel square. I will not call this a good book and I will not recommend this series to anyone, but I enjoyed it so much that I went on to read every single further volume available in print, and I have a pre-order set for the next 2 volumes. CR 5
Five SFF Short Stories: After my first DNF in years, I had to settle on Sword of Destiny by Andrzej Sapkowski, the second short stories collection in the Witcher series. A solid read that gave me the urge to play the videogame again. CR 3
Big Dumb Object: Senlin Ascends by Josiah Bancroft is a rare case for me - I ended the book thinking "this was a great book that I thoughtfully enjoyed, and I have zero interest in reading the sequel". Still, the book gets a "highly recommend" from me. CR 3
Feminist Novel: The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix E. Harrow is a nice book that unfortunately was hyped too much for me. Also, the possibly unintended implication that the actions of the protagonist led to WWI really make it hard to root for her and her point of view on doors CR 1
Novel by a Canadian Author: I understand why The Lions of Al-Rassan by Guy Gavriel Kay gets so much love. It is a great book. Unfortunately, I have some very specific problems with the book that reduced my enjoyment of the it. CR 3
Novel with a Number in the Title: Here we have How to Defeat a Demon King in Ten Easy Steps by Andrew Rowe which is unfortunately my biggest disappointment this year. The premise is amazing, but the execution is not, mainly thanks to the main characters being a bad caricature of a scientist and a bad caricature of a religious person. Do not recommend. CR 5
Romantic Fantasy / Paranormal Romance: Last year I reached the conclusion that I just don't like novellas, since I disliked all those I've read. This year I've been proven wrong, partially thanks to This is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone, a great book with an ending I'm still not sure makes any sense. CR 4
Novel with a Magical Pet: The most ambiguous square (I'm still not 100% sure my book actually fill the requirement), I've read Minor Mage T. Kingfisher, which is the other part I changed my opinion on novellas. A wonderful little adventure about great characters.
Format: Graphic Novel (at least 1 vol.) OR Audiobook / Audio drama: I've read Magi The Labyrinth of Magic Vol 1 by Shinobu Ohtaka and nope. Nope, nope, nope, nope. CR 5
Novel Featuring Politics: Priest of Bones by Peter McLean is one of the first books I've read this year, so I only vaguely remember it as a solid book
like I mentioned, I had a lot of shuffling this year, and some books that I read for the bingo ended outside the card. so here are my quick thoughts on those books:
Mid-Lich Crisis by Steve Thomas: removed from necromancy square due to low CR. A fun humorous book that would have failed miserably if it had taken itself even slightly seriously. thankfully, it does not - including the perfect ending for such book.
The Dungeoneers by Jeffery Russell: removed from necromancy square due to low CR. A nice read but mostly disappointing since what I wanted was more of the actual dungeoneering and less save the world plot . I would be happy if someone have recommendations for a book about professionals dungeoneers which is actually about the dungeoneering.
In the Labyrinth of Drakes by Marie Brennan: removed from feminism when I decided to use the next book in the series for cold setting square. possibly the best book in the series.
The Iron Ship by K.M. McKinley: removed from BDU square since I wasn't sure it fits the requirements. a nice book with too many POV, some of them extremely boring.
Last year I said I will try to push for an average CR of 3.5, and after a lot of struggle I managed to land an average 3.56 CR. While I'm happy I did that, it was a real struggle and I don't think I would repeat it next year.
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2020.11.24 14:40 TwisterRex My Personal Story.

PLEASE TELL MY STORY

Hello. I would wish for my true name to not be revealed but you can call me Jack. Now, Before I write my story, I just wanted to say that this i not in-depth because this happened 12 years ago.
But here we go.
Ever since i was little i had ghost experiences. But one in particular sticks with me. It all started when I was 4. I was with my friend you can call drake. Drake and I were jumping on his trampoline and i looked to my left and i saw this figure about 16 feet tall standing about 30 yards away. He was a bright lightning like metallic white figure. He wore a yellow T-shirt with blue shorts. i tap drakes shoulder without looking away and i point. he asks what im looking at and i blink. he's gone. these same experiences happen randomly. but about 10 years later im sleeping at my grandmas house and i can't sleep. i hear footsteps and nothing crosses my path and hows that? the steps i heard crossed in front of my doorway. but about 1 hour later the ceramic bunny dolls that are around the room all floated towards my sisters room. she floats in covered in blood and is holding a knife. she floats towards me and cuts my arm open i scream but no sound. she laughs and floats into the floor. i go into shock and pass out. i wake up with a scar on my left arm.
Ever since then to this very day small things happen. But nothing like that. I have not seen "HIM" in years but it will return. Im sure. sorry for the short story but i cant remember much. This is true and this is my true story. Thanks.
submitted by TwisterRex to mrballen [link] [comments]


2020.11.24 06:36 Kharisgaraka The story of a Broken heart

I'll put it simple, this is my story... Welcome Depression, a simple word with a fierce meaning behind it's 10 letters... I (M18)have been dealing with depression since I was 8, for about six years I dealt with this on my own, always putting on the best smile I could... September of 2018 came around and I met this wonderful girl (we'll call her Mishell, for privacy reasons) it was love at first sight, we were on a School project together and by some weird thing we got to know each other better... Days went by, kisses were shared and moments of joy lived... Not everything is always good... She felt jealous, because I would often speak with my Best friend, i would ask her for advise and tips for my dates with Mishell, tell her how they went about and that sort of stuff... Mishell, was possessive... The trouble went and came day after day, she began to lie, all the time, she said some things about a pregnancy test, about a miscarriage and about other stuff... We ended the relationship since she asked for some "time" Apparently, time has a name and last name, i sunk into depression... I've had a history of cutting and self harm... March 18th 2019, I drove my 1992 volkswagen beetle into a tree... One choice I wish I had avoided but now realize it was for the best... All of my memories with her had a place in that car, thus the pain was greater, I opened the door, stepped out of the remains of the car without a single scratch, hit or bruise ... I couldn't find a reason to that, a unstable car, no seatbelt, no airbags and straight into that tree... Unharmed, shivering and evaluating everything I saw her coming to my aid, she told me she had a date later on that day -¿¡Are you okay!? ¿Do you want me to stay? My response - I am okay, thanks, but you have a date and I wouldn't like you to miss it. That sentence made so much sense I felt like I had everything solved... She left while I draked with the insurance company... The depression followed on until I went to the theater and saw "Man of la Mancha", that play, the songs, the emotions, the feelings, the atmosphere... There I realised that everything happens for a reason, I learnt that I took my time, made my choices and there was no one to blame but me, I stood up and clenched my fist... Since that day Mishell has just been a memory, of a unstable, liar and a person who didn't want anything but attention, but far more important than that, she was a lesson, for me to know my worth, to know my limits and to know when to stand up and move along with whatever cards you're dealt in this game of life... Maybe my heart is still broken, maybe I'm single, alone, but there is one thing for sure... I now love me, I know my choices were the Right ones, and I'm ready to dream that impossible dream, to see the world the way it should be Because madness is seeing the world the way it is and not the way it should be!
This is all a real story, my story, and I thanks you for reading... You can do this! Kharis.
submitted by Kharisgaraka to lonely [link] [comments]


2020.11.24 03:07 NicoLuna95 Question on wave management lategame

Hi everyone, I'm a plat midlaner that plays mostly lategame champs, so in the later stages of the game in often in the sidelanes collecting waves and this being to my question: Lets assume allo top and bot towers are down, except inibith towers (towers are down for both teams) Top wave is resetted (1 full health wave for each team is going to meet in the middle of the lane) Drake is spawning in about 1/1.30 minutes. How do I have to touch the wave, in order to build a big wave in that will heavily push towards enemy inibith tower (if no enemy shows to collect it) around drake spawn timer?
I heard that you have to kill only the casters but leave others alive, is it true?
Hope someone can help me, sometimes would really help knowing how to do that
Thanks :)
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2020.11.24 01:58 adriftingleaf Chapter 12 - In which Jackie and Sam attempt a career in radio!

Sam caught up to Jackie and ran alongside her. “That went well,” he said.
Jackie looked sideways at him, then went back to focusing on the road. She nodded. “Better than I thought it would. I didn’t really think I’d have luck getting through to my dad, but I didn’t think there was any way my mom would condemn a bunch of kids to death.” They ran in silence, dodging around crashed and abandoned cars.
“You know, I’m really hoping that we can start putting the world right again. I miss driving places. I’m not really a fan of running.”
Jackie hopped over a pothole. “Feeling a little out of shape?”
“Oh, no, it just brings back unpleasant memories. Usually if I’m running, it’s because I’m being chased.”
“By werewolves?” They jumped over a flattened car in unison.
“Usually peasants, but yeah, sometimes werewolves.” They continued running, and on one street, Jackie slowed and frowned. She came to a stop, and Sam followed her. She sniffed the air.
“Do you smell that?” she asked.
Sam sniffed the air. “Smells like a car on fire.”
Jackie nodded. “Yeah, but why?” She gestured around her. “All of these crashes, these abandoned cars? Those happened weeks ago. They’ve just been sitting since then. So what would have made one explore?”
Sam looked at the cloudless sky. “Completely random lightning strike? I dunno. I was going to say maybe the sun hit something just right, but it’s night out.”
Just then, there was an explosion a few streets away. Jackie started running.
“Wait!” Sam yelled. She came to a stop and turned back to look at him. “Think through this for a second. Something in the town is blowing up cars, and you want to run towards it? And you think that’s a wise thing to do?”
“I at least want to figure out what it is, in case it changes tactics and decides to start blowing us up instead.”
Sam opened his mouth to respond, then closed it. “Okay, that’s a good point,” he said, and started running.
What they found when they came to the correct block made them stop and slow again. There was a line of exploded cars down the street, one of which was still burning. There were two small figures on the ground near it.
“Dammit,” hissed Jackie. “What the hell were those kids doing to make a car explode?” She sprinted over to them, but stopped when she got close enough to get a good look.
Sam pulled up next to her. “Oh, well, that explains it.”
The two figures on the ground were slowly coming back to consciousness. Both of them were around four feet tall, or they would have been if they were standing. One was white, with a long grey beard and pointed ears. He was dressed in a red robe and had a pointed hat, and he seemed to have a potbelly. The other was skinny and green, also with pointed ears, huge eyes, a large beaked nose, and dressed in a motley collection of bits of armor and clothes. He was wearing a helmet with a dent in it, and the helmet had a number of different lenses that could be levered down over his left eye. They were moaning on the ground.
“Goblins and gnomes. They were probably tinkering with the cars and blew a couple up.”
“Why the hell would they do that?”
Sam shrugged. “Gnomes are suckers for learning about new things, and as for the explosions, well...that’s a big part of how goblin science advances. Never seen them working together before, but well,” Sam looked around at the abandoned town. “Stranger things have happened. But they’re harmless. Unless you have one for a lab partner.” He bent down. “Hey, you two okay?”
The goblin opened one eye and squinted at Sam. He frowned, then flicked down one of the lenses attached to his helmet and squinted through it, first at Sam, then at Jackie, then nodded. “Yeah, we’ll be okay.” He thumped the armor covering his chest. “Armor’s got an enchantment in it. Standard safety gear.” His voice managed to be squeaky and gravelly at the same time.
The gnome sat up and groaned, putting his hands to his head. “I don’t believe it was supposed to be subjected to so many repeated detonations, though.” His voice was also higher pitched.
The goblin stood up. “Oh come on, it’s fine. These spells are rated for way bigger explosions. Besides, I think I know what we did wrong last time.”
The gnome struggled to his feet. “I already know what we did wrong.”
The goblin perked up. “Really? Tell me!”
“I agreed to go with you on his idiotic trip to the surface. Everything else was a consequence of that.” He worked his shoulder around. “I think that last explosion sprained something.”
“Oh come on! You were the one who asked me to come with! Whatever. I’m going to start on the next one, I think we can keep it from exploding this time.”
“That’s what you said the last dozen times.”
“So statistically, I’m bound to be right this time!” The goblin ran over to the next nearest car and started removing bolts. The gnome sighed and walked after him, and started yelling instructions. Sam and Jackie gave each other a look.
Jackie leaned closer to Sam. “I have to admit, I thought we’d get some kind of reaction out of them.”
“Yeah, me too.”
Jackie cleared her throat. “Uh. Hey, hello?”
The goblin glanced over at her. “What? We’re doing cutting edge research here.”
“On...what, exactly?”
The gnome stroked his beard. “Once we figure out how these can be made to work, it will usher in a new era for the underground. We won’t have to rely on the dwarves for our movements anymore.”
“Plus, no goblin has ever exploded at sixty miles an hour before. I’ll be a legend!”
“Okay, but...you know that these aren’t supposed to explode, right?”
The goblin stopped what he was doing, and he was so shocked that he dropped his wrench. He stared at her, openmouthed. “Then what’s the point?”
The gnome threw up his hands. “I told you I didn’t think they were supposed to explode that much.”
Jackie shook her head. “How are you even making them explode?”
“Oh! That’s easy.” The goblin popped up and opened the gas tank. “See, there’s something in here, but every time I try to get a light in there to see what it is,” he grabbed a tool from his belt that burst into flame and drew it closer to the tank.
“DUCK!” screamed the gnome, as he hit the ground. Sam was already cowering behind the wreckage of another car. Jackie dove for the ground right as the vehicle exploded.
After a while, Jackie’s ears stopped ringing. She looked around, and the goblin was laying on the ground. His helmet had a new dent in it. He levered himself up into a sitting position and spat out a tooth. “So yeah, every time I try to get a look inside, that happens. But don’t worry, I’m going to figure it out. If we let explosions hold us back, Goblins would still be trying to blow up rocks.”
Jackie shook her head. “Okay, stop. I can tell you what’s in there. Just...for the love of god, stop blowing up cars. I can tell you everything you want to know about them. I’ve got books about how they work, I’ll let you take them.”
He goblin sprinted over to her and hugged her. “Oh thank you thank you THANK YOU!” he squealed. “I’m Gob Fizzbang. I will be forever in your debt.” He stood back. “Now, where are these books?” He pointed at Sam. “Do you need to send your vampire servant to fetch them?”
“Hey! I’m not a servant!”
Jackie smiled. “We’re in the middle of something right now, but we should be heading back home in a few hours. If you want to come, I can show you the garage. We’ve got Haynes manuals for some common cars, that should be enough to get you started.”
The gnome was stroking his beard. “Tom Tiddlewinks, at your service, Madam. I was afraid we’d be blowing up cars all night.”
Jackie stood. “So, I guess you have some grudge against the humans too? Is that part of why you’re blowing everything up?”
Tom and Gob looked at each other and shook their heads. “Oh no, nothing like that,” Tom said. “When the humans expanded, we went underground to live with the dwarves. It was perfectly fine until they sealed the tunnels. They said it was too dangerous, that humans might find their way in. But no, we have no quarrel with the humans.”
Gob jumped up and down. “They have all the coolest stuff! Way better than the dwarves. And they never trapped us underground for a thousand years.” He looked at the cars. “Dwarvish stuff is way harder to make explode.”
Jackie smiled to herself. “What are dwarves like, anyway?”
Tom and Gob looked at each other. “Well, put it like this. Proportional to their size…” he trailed off.
“Dwarves are the biggest assholes on the planet,” finished Gob. “They’re all ‘don’t touch that’ and ‘how did you get in here?’”.
Tom nodded. “Indeed.”
Sam nodded. “They always were. I’m really not surprised.”
Jackie glanced over at him. “You used to run with dwarves?”
Sam shook his head. “No, nothing like that. But they do a lot of trading. At least, they used to. Tightfisted little bastards, but they do make good stuff. Hey, who else went underground to live with the dwarves?”
Gob shrugged. “Everyone who didn’t want to put up with prissy elves, basically.”
“The gnomes and goblins, obviously, but the drakes as well, and the orcs, they refused to live with the elves, for obvious reasons,” said Tom, and Sam nodded. “Who else...the mole people, of course, some of the sasquatch tried it for a while, but they missed the trees too much. They left, somehow. Oh, and the dinosaurs, of course.”
Sam nodded. “Makes sense.”
Dinosaurs?” said Jackie.
Sam grinned. “Oh yeah. And they don’t look anything like what you picture in your head.”
“Dinosaurs? Like, actual giant animals with the teeth and the horns and everything?”
“How many stories have you heard about an underground kingdom populated by dinosaurs or giant creatures from another realm? Where do you think humans got such a silly idea from?” said Sam. “They used to do tours. It was great, for an extra gold piece you could feed a sheep to a T-Rex.”
“Jesus, that sounds dangerous.”
“Yeah, but if the T-Rex eats you, they refund the money, so it’s not a total loss.” Gob and Tom nodded in agreement.
Jackie shook her head. “Whatever. This is wasting time. We need to get to a radio. You two want to come with or you want us to meet you back here when we’re done?”
Gob and Tom looked at each other. “What, pray tell, is a radio?” asked Tom.
“Uh...it’s a radio. It’s a device for sending messages over a long distance? And for receiving them?”
“And this is a device that humans made?”
“Yeah, about a hundred years ago? Hundred and fifty? Something like that.”
Gob started hopping up and down, and he held his hands in front of him, “Oh please please please please, can we come with? Please?”
“I believe this could be quite instructive, Miss Jackie, if you would allow us to accompany you, we would appreciate it.”
“I’ll name an explosion after you!” squeaked Gob.
“Well, okay, can you keep up with us though?”
“Oh! I’ve got something for that!” Gob darted over to his pack. He threw a pair of boots at Tom, and started putting a pair on his own feet. “Goblin rocket boots. There’s no finer way to travel!” Tom sighed and started putting them on as well.
“They do work very well, Miss Jackie, they just have a slight tendency to, well…”
“Explode?” asked Jackie. Tom nodded morosely.
“Nonsense! These are Mark seventeens! Lowest rate of explosion of any ever created. Perfectly safe. Unless they explode. But that almost never happens.” Gob popped up and shook his feet. “Where are we going?”
Sam held up his hands. “Don’t look at me, I’m not from around here. I’m just following Jackie.”
Gob waved that off. “Well no, I wouldn’t expect a servant to know anything important.”
“Hey! Not a servant!”
“Hey Sam, knock that off or I won’t give you a bonus this christmas,” Jackie said, grinning at him. Sam glared at her.
“Okay, so, last one to the community college is a rotten egg. Follow me!” Jackie shifted to halfway and took off down the street. Sam followed her. Behind her, catching up quickly, came the voices of Tom and Gob.
“Gob, are my boots supposed to be smoking already?”
“WHEEEEEEEEE!”
Jackie slowed to a stop, Sam matching her. Someone had graffitied the sign out in front of the college. Now it read ‘Where students come TO DIE’. She looked around, and jumped out of the way of Gob, as he flew past her to slam into the sign, his boots still smoking. Tom slowed to a stop next to Sam, and fell over as his boots abruptly cut out.
Jackie gasped as Gob hit the sign, and she ran over to him. “Oh my god, are you okay?”
Gob waved her off. “Yeah, I’m fine. That was actually pretty good.”
Sam walked up behind her. “Goblins are pretty tough, even without magic armor. I think it’s a product of evolution.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, if your race tries to advance itself by blowing things up, you eventually breed a race of people that’s immune to explosions..”
“That’s not how evolution works, Sam.”
Sam shrugged. “You find a better explanation, I’d like to hear it.”
Jackie stood back up and surveyed the campus. Like everything else, it was a mixture of abandoned buildings and smashed in windows. “Jesus, someone even tore down the cell phone tower,” she muttered,
Tom walked up to them, holding the boots at arms length. “That would be the elves, Miss Jackie. We’ve seen some of them doing things like that, we don’t know why.”
Gob struggled to his feet. “Yeah, they didn’t even try to blow them up.”
Sam made a face. “Things like what, Tom?”
Tom raised his eyebrows but answered “Those...metal towers. And some of the other ones, the tall ones with cables strung from them. They seem to think it some kind of game.”
“Yeah, they dance and sing and get hammered and then hack away with their axes and it comes down. They take turns, and they all cheer when one falls.”
“Fucking elves,” Sam muttered under his breath.
“Are those assholes the reason I haven’t had any internet for months?” yelled Jackie.
Gob and Tom looked at each other. “I’m not sure, Miss Jackie.”
“What's the internet?” added Gob.
“Yeah, probably,” said Sam. “Don’t know why they would even bother. Not like there’s all that many people around to use it.”
“Well I wanted to use it! Do you know how much easier the apocalypse would be with streaming services?”
Gob, Tom, and Sam shared a look. “No,” they said in unison.
Jackie rolled her eyes. “Whatever.” She started walking into the college. “Lets go.” Gob and Tom scampered after her, jogging to keep up, and Sam took up the rear.
“So, where are we headed, anyway?” asked Sam.
Jackie stopped just inside to examine a map. “I’m not sure where, but I know there’s a radio station that broadcasts out of here. Used to broadcast, anyway. The local NPR station. I figure if there’s radio equipment, that’s probably the best place to look.” She stabbed her finger into the map. “There. We need to get through here, and then cross the cafeteria, then jog across the quad, and we should be good.”
“Assuming the elves haven’t chopped down the transmitter,” grumbled Sam.
“You think they would?”
Sam shrugged. “No way to know, honestly. I never understand half the things they do. Just saying.”
Jackie nodded. “Noted.” She started walking, and everyone else followed. Tom walked at her side, and Gob ran ahead and jumped up to look through every door they passed.
“What’s in here? Desks. And this room is...more desks. But I’ll bet over here, there must be...nuts. More desks.” He gave Jackie a look. “Why would you build this place and the just fill every room with desks?”
Tom cleared his throat. “I believe it’s a house of learning, Gob. A place of instruction, where people might come to learn from their elders.” He looked nervously up at Jackie. “Is...that correct?”
Jackie smiled at him. “Yup.”
Gob jumped up to look through a few more doors, then stopped and walked with them. “So...nothing that explodes at all?”
“In the chemistry department, sure. I think that’s a few buildings over.”
“Hot damn! I want to learn chemistry!”
Jackie laughed at his enthusiasm. “Later. Right now we need to cut across this,” she opened the door to the quad, “to get to that.” She pointed at the building housing the radio station, which thankfully still seemed to have it’s tower up.
For chemistry!” screamed Gob, and charged across the outside area. The rest of them caught up with him, where he was stubbornly pushing on a door.
Sam coughed behind him. “You have to pull on it.”
“Oh! Of course!” Gob hauled the door open. “Thank you, Mr. Vampire Servant. Please, enter.”
“I’m not a...you know what, forget it. Happy to help.” Sam walked in and flipped the light switch, and the fluorescent bulbs flickered to life down the short hallway. He looked around. “Well, that’s good, at least. Looks like the solar panels still work.”
Jackie nodded. “Encouraging. I haven’t been here in years, but I think...yeah, this way.” She opened one of the doors and marched down it, her entourage in tow. After about twenty feet, she stopped again. “Okay, so this is the broadcasting booth…” she said slowly. She stared at the room with it’s unfamiliar dials and switches. “So now we need to do...something.”
Sam looked at her. “You mean you don’t know? Why the hell did we come all this way, then?”
“I don’t know, I thought it would be easy, you know, flip a button and hit send. I didn’t imagine…” she waved at the control panels. “this.” She looked around the room. “Maybe there’s a manual or something laying around? Search the cabinets?”
There was a manual laying in the bottom of a cabinet, and it did seem to be for the equipment in front of them, but it was also only slightly smaller than the average dictionary. They looked at it in apprehension.
Sam snorted. “This is going to take forever.”
“Well, do you have a better idea?”
“If I may, Miss Jackie,” said Tom. “If you would allow Gob and myself to examine the manual, I believe we can dispense with it quickly.”
“We read fast,” said Gob.
Jackie and Sam looked at each other. Sam shrugged. “Worth a shot. Gnomes can soak up knowledge like nobody's business. And goblins have a knack for working with technology.”
“Yeah, but what if the technology doesn’t explode?”
“They tend to get bored and eventually move to something else. But we just need to get it working for a minute, right?”
Jackie stepped away from the manual. “Be my guest, gentlemen.” Tom and Gob wrestled the manual onto the ground, and started flipping through it, occasionally making each other pause so they could go back over a section. They talked to themselves as they worked, Gob in a language that sounded like rocks being banged together, and Tom in some sort of language that mostly seemed to consist of the letters g and n.
“You think they can go from not knowing what a radio is to making one work for us in one night?” whispered Jackie.
“Maybe. Thing is, gnomes are the ultimate librarians. They can read at insane speeds and retain almost all of it, but they’re total crap at applications. Hand them a hammer and they’ll probably just drop it on their foot. Goblins are at the other end of the spectrum; they’re all about the application. You wouldn’t guess it from what they were doing earlier, but I’ll bet they were just excited. Goblins can make some truly incredible things, but they have the attention span of a flea. A goblin and a gnome working together? Yeah, they might be able to do it.”
After twenty minutes, Tom and Gob looked up. “I believe we can activate this device, Miss Jackie.”
“Piece of cake.”
They started running around the room, flipping switches and yelling to each other. After a few minutes, the room was lit up, and the broadcast booth looked, to Jackie’s untrained eye, ready to broadcast.
Jackie put her hand on the knob to the booth, and then said, “Wait, guys, can we just turn on a radio and listen? If there’s anybody out there, they might already be broadcasting.”
“Who listens to radio anymore?” asked Sam.
“I don’t know, but it’s what we were going to try, so maybe someone else had the same idea?”
Sam opened his mouth, then closed it and thought. “You know, yeah, worth a shot.”
“Simplicity itself, Miss Jackie. Gob, would you do the honors?” Gob saluted, and then flipped a switch. Static filled the room. “And I believe this is the tuning knob,” said Tom, and started adjusting the frequency. Gob was flipping through an appendix in the back of the manual. He didn’t have to turn it for very long before the government klaxons of the emergency broadcast system began emanating forth.
“Can we turn it down?” Jackie yelled. Tom nodded and fiddled with another knob, and it diminished to a merely annoying drone. “That was easier than I thought.”
A robotic voice started speaking. “In accordance with the Emergency Powers and Government Reorganization Act of 2045, all radio broadcasting equipment is required to play this message on a loop until further notice. All citizens receiving this notification are to report to the nearest government outpost for quarantine and treatment. Your nearest government location is -” and here another voice cut in - “Rochester, minnesota.” The original voice came back. “All who are able are required by law to report to the nearest government center to rejoin the United States as we rebuild our nation, and then our world. May God have mercy on us all. Message repeats.”
The klaxons sounded again, and Jackie nodded at Tom. “You can turn it off now.” Tom nodded.
Jackie sighed. “Well, it’s a direction, anyway.”
“Where are we in relation to rochester? Carl and I had to take kind of a weird path to get here.”
Jackie pursed her mouth. “Fifty miles away? Maybe a hundred? It’d be easy if we could take the roads, but the highways are impassable now with all the crashes.”
Sam nodded. “Good thing the kids have a bunch of werewolves to ride then, right?”
Jackie gave him a look of horror. “Oh God no. My Dad would shit a brick.”
Sam grinned. “Yeah, but I think your mom would shove it right back up his ass and tell him to carry two.”
Slowly, Jackie broke into a smile. “Actually, I think you’re right.” She looked at Tom and Gob. “What do you say? You two want to join us?”
Tom and Gob whispered to each other, shooting Jackie furtive looks the whole time. Eventually, Tom cleared his throat and spoke. “While we greatly appreciate the offer, Miss Jackie, we aren’t sure how long we’re going to spend on the surface, and we’d like to spend as much of it as possible studying human technology. Why, just with what we’ve learned from this manual, we could revolutionize some aspects of society in the Underground.”
“Just wait until I teach them chemistry! How do I learn chemistry?”
Jackie laughed. “You know, it’s nice to meet other...beings who don’t want to kill all the humans.”
“Hey, I don’t want to kill all the humans,” said Sam.
Tom smiled. “We never really had much quarrel with humanity, Miss Jackie, we just got tired of them expanding everywhere. We had to move every couple centuries, and it got tiresome, that’s all. You’ve invented so many wonderful things up here, we’re just happy to have the chance to learn.”
“You guys have all the coolest stuff!
“Sure Sam. Sure. Uh, well, I guess I can show you the library. That should get you started. After that you’re on your own.” Gob and Tom scampered off ahead of her and waited for her to catch up.
“You know what they say about how a little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing?” asked Sam, as they walked across the quad. Jackie nodded, and he continued. “I’ve got a feeling that with those two, we’re about to find out exactly how accurate that is.”
submitted by adriftingleaf to SweetDreamsNovel [link] [comments]


2020.11.24 01:58 adriftingleaf Sweet Dreams - Chapter 12

Long chapter. They're getting longer as I get closer to the end, for some reason. I like Gob and Tom. Gob, if you can't get a handle on it, should have a personality kind of like a puppy. Maybe not stupid, but very easily distracted. Anyway, I went back and forth over cutting them totally - it's not necessary from a plot standpoint, I could have worked around it- but I decided to leave them in for two reasons. 1) I wanted to show just a bit of some mythological creatures that don't just want to either kill or eat humans, people who liked humanity for it's own sake, and 2) I wanted to show Jackie adapting to this new crazy world and have her take the lead in talking to them. I think it worked on both counts.
Chapter 12 - In which Jackie and Sam attempt a career in radio!
Sam caught up to Jackie and ran alongside her. “That went well,” he said.
Jackie looked sideways at him, then went back to focusing on the road. She nodded. “Better than I thought it would. I didn’t really think I’d have luck getting through to my dad, but I didn’t think there was any way my mom would condemn a bunch of kids to death.” They ran in silence, dodging around crashed and abandoned cars.
“You know, I’m really hoping that we can start putting the world right again. I miss driving places. I’m not really a fan of running.”
Jackie hopped over a pothole. “Feeling a little out of shape?”
“Oh, no, it just brings back unpleasant memories. Usually if I’m running, it’s because I’m being chased.”
“By werewolves?” They jumped over a flattened car in unison.
“Usually peasants, but yeah, sometimes werewolves.” They continued running, and on one street, Jackie slowed and frowned. She came to a stop, and Sam followed her. She sniffed the air.
“Do you smell that?” she asked.
Sam sniffed the air. “Smells like a car on fire.”
Jackie nodded. “Yeah, but why?” She gestured around her. “All of these crashes, these abandoned cars? Those happened weeks ago. They’ve just been sitting since then. So what would have made one explore?”
Sam looked at the cloudless sky. “Completely random lightning strike? I dunno. I was going to say maybe the sun hit something just right, but it’s night out.”
Just then, there was an explosion a few streets away. Jackie started running.
“Wait!” Sam yelled. She came to a stop and turned back to look at him. “Think through this for a second. Something in the town is blowing up cars, and you want to run towards it? And you think that’s a wise thing to do?”
“I at least want to figure out what it is, in case it changes tactics and decides to start blowing us up instead.”
Sam opened his mouth to respond, then closed it. “Okay, that’s a good point,” he said, and started running.
What they found when they came to the correct block made them stop and slow again. There was a line of exploded cars down the street, one of which was still burning. There were two small figures on the ground near it.
“Dammit,” hissed Jackie. “What the hell were those kids doing to make a car explode?” She sprinted over to them, but stopped when she got close enough to get a good look.
Sam pulled up next to her. “Oh, well, that explains it.”
The two figures on the ground were slowly coming back to consciousness. Both of them were around four feet tall, or they would have been if they were standing. One was white, with a long grey beard and pointed ears. He was dressed in a red robe and had a pointed hat, and he seemed to have a potbelly. The other was skinny and green, also with pointed ears, huge eyes, a large beaked nose, and dressed in a motley collection of bits of armor and clothes. He was wearing a helmet with a dent in it, and the helmet had a number of different lenses that could be levered down over his left eye. They were moaning on the ground.
“Goblins and gnomes. They were probably tinkering with the cars and blew a couple up.”
“Why the hell would they do that?”
Sam shrugged. “Gnomes are suckers for learning about new things, and as for the explosions, well...that’s a big part of how goblin science advances. Never seen them working together before, but well,” Sam looked around at the abandoned town. “Stranger things have happened. But they’re harmless. Unless you have one for a lab partner.” He bent down. “Hey, you two okay?”
The goblin opened one eye and squinted at Sam. He frowned, then flicked down one of the lenses attached to his helmet and squinted through it, first at Sam, then at Jackie, then nodded. “Yeah, we’ll be okay.” He thumped the armor covering his chest. “Armor’s got an enchantment in it. Standard safety gear.” His voice managed to be squeaky and gravelly at the same time.
The gnome sat up and groaned, putting his hands to his head. “I don’t believe it was supposed to be subjected to so many repeated detonations, though.” His voice was also higher pitched.
The goblin stood up. “Oh come on, it’s fine. These spells are rated for way bigger explosions. Besides, I think I know what we did wrong last time.”
The gnome struggled to his feet. “I already know what we did wrong.”
The goblin perked up. “Really? Tell me!”
“I agreed to go with you on his idiotic trip to the surface. Everything else was a consequence of that.” He worked his shoulder around. “I think that last explosion sprained something.”
“Oh come on! You were the one who asked me to come with! Whatever. I’m going to start on the next one, I think we can keep it from exploding this time.”
“That’s what you said the last dozen times.”
“So statistically, I’m bound to be right this time!” The goblin ran over to the next nearest car and started removing bolts. The gnome sighed and walked after him, and started yelling instructions. Sam and Jackie gave each other a look.
Jackie leaned closer to Sam. “I have to admit, I thought we’d get some kind of reaction out of them.”
“Yeah, me too.”
Jackie cleared her throat. “Uh. Hey, hello?”
The goblin glanced over at her. “What? We’re doing cutting edge research here.”
“On...what, exactly?”
The gnome stroked his beard. “Once we figure out how these can be made to work, it will usher in a new era for the underground. We won’t have to rely on the dwarves for our movements anymore.”
“Plus, no goblin has ever exploded at sixty miles an hour before. I’ll be a legend!”
“Okay, but...you know that these aren’t supposed to explode, right?”
The goblin stopped what he was doing, and he was so shocked that he dropped his wrench. He stared at her, openmouthed. “Then what’s the point?”
The gnome threw up his hands. “I told you I didn’t think they were supposed to explode that much.”
Jackie shook her head. “How are you even making them explode?”
“Oh! That’s easy.” The goblin popped up and opened the gas tank. “See, there’s something in here, but every time I try to get a light in there to see what it is,” he grabbed a tool from his belt that burst into flame and drew it closer to the tank.
“DUCK!” screamed the gnome, as he hit the ground. Sam was already cowering behind the wreckage of another car. Jackie dove for the ground right as the vehicle exploded.
After a while, Jackie’s ears stopped ringing. She looked around, and the goblin was laying on the ground. His helmet had a new dent in it. He levered himself up into a sitting position and spat out a tooth. “So yeah, every time I try to get a look inside, that happens. But don’t worry, I’m going to figure it out. If we let explosions hold us back, Goblins would still be trying to blow up rocks.”
Jackie shook her head. “Okay, stop. I can tell you what’s in there. Just...for the love of god, stop blowing up cars. I can tell you everything you want to know about them. I’ve got books about how they work, I’ll let you take them.”
He goblin sprinted over to her and hugged her. “Oh thank you thank you THANK YOU!” he squealed. “I’m Gob Fizzbang. I will be forever in your debt.” He stood back. “Now, where are these books?” He pointed at Sam. “Do you need to send your vampire servant to fetch them?”
“Hey! I’m not a servant!”
Jackie smiled. “We’re in the middle of something right now, but we should be heading back home in a few hours. If you want to come, I can show you the garage. We’ve got Haynes manuals for some common cars, that should be enough to get you started.”
The gnome was stroking his beard. “Tom Tiddlewinks, at your service, Madam. I was afraid we’d be blowing up cars all night.”
Jackie stood. “So, I guess you have some grudge against the humans too? Is that part of why you’re blowing everything up?”
Tom and Gob looked at each other and shook their heads. “Oh no, nothing like that,” Tom said. “When the humans expanded, we went underground to live with the dwarves. It was perfectly fine until they sealed the tunnels. They said it was too dangerous, that humans might find their way in. But no, we have no quarrel with the humans.”
Gob jumped up and down. “They have all the coolest stuff! Way better than the dwarves. And they never trapped us underground for a thousand years.” He looked at the cars. “Dwarvish stuff is way harder to make explode.”
Jackie smiled to herself. “What are dwarves like, anyway?”
Tom and Gob looked at each other. “Well, put it like this. Proportional to their size…” he trailed off.
“Dwarves are the biggest assholes on the planet,” finished Gob. “They’re all ‘don’t touch that’ and ‘how did you get in here?’”.
Tom nodded. “Indeed.”
Sam nodded. “They always were. I’m really not surprised.”
Jackie glanced over at him. “You used to run with dwarves?”
Sam shook his head. “No, nothing like that. But they do a lot of trading. At least, they used to. Tightfisted little bastards, but they do make good stuff. Hey, who else went underground to live with the dwarves?”
Gob shrugged. “Everyone who didn’t want to put up with prissy elves, basically.”
“The gnomes and goblins, obviously, but the drakes as well, and the orcs, they refused to live with the elves, for obvious reasons,” said Tom, and Sam nodded. “Who else...the mole people, of course, some of the sasquatch tried it for a while, but they missed the trees too much. They left, somehow. Oh, and the dinosaurs, of course.”
Sam nodded. “Makes sense.”
Dinosaurs?” said Jackie.
Sam grinned. “Oh yeah. And they don’t look anything like what you picture in your head.”
“Dinosaurs? Like, actual giant animals with the teeth and the horns and everything?”
“How many stories have you heard about an underground kingdom populated by dinosaurs or giant creatures from another realm? Where do you think humans got such a silly idea from?” said Sam. “They used to do tours. It was great, for an extra gold piece you could feed a sheep to a T-Rex.”
“Jesus, that sounds dangerous.”
“Yeah, but if the T-Rex eats you, they refund the money, so it’s not a total loss.” Gob and Tom nodded in agreement.
Jackie shook her head. “Whatever. This is wasting time. We need to get to a radio. You two want to come with or you want us to meet you back here when we’re done?”
Gob and Tom looked at each other. “What, pray tell, is a radio?” asked Tom.
“Uh...it’s a radio. It’s a device for sending messages over a long distance? And for receiving them?”
“And this is a device that humans made?”
“Yeah, about a hundred years ago? Hundred and fifty? Something like that.”
Gob started hopping up and down, and he held his hands in front of him, “Oh please please please please, can we come with? Please?”
“I believe this could be quite instructive, Miss Jackie, if you would allow us to accompany you, we would appreciate it.”
“I’ll name an explosion after you!” squeaked Gob.
“Well, okay, can you keep up with us though?”
“Oh! I’ve got something for that!” Gob darted over to his pack. He threw a pair of boots at Tom, and started putting a pair on his own feet. “Goblin rocket boots. There’s no finer way to travel!” Tom sighed and started putting them on as well.
“They do work very well, Miss Jackie, they just have a slight tendency to, well…”
“Explode?” asked Jackie. Tom nodded morosely.
“Nonsense! These are Mark seventeens! Lowest rate of explosion of any ever created. Perfectly safe. Unless they explode. But that almost never happens.” Gob popped up and shook his feet. “Where are we going?”
Sam held up his hands. “Don’t look at me, I’m not from around here. I’m just following Jackie.”
Gob waved that off. “Well no, I wouldn’t expect a servant to know anything important.”
“Hey! Not a servant!”
“Hey Sam, knock that off or I won’t give you a bonus this christmas,” Jackie said, grinning at him. Sam glared at her.
“Okay, so, last one to the community college is a rotten egg. Follow me!” Jackie shifted to halfway and took off down the street. Sam followed her. Behind her, catching up quickly, came the voices of Tom and Gob.
“Gob, are my boots supposed to be smoking already?”
“WHEEEEEEEEE!”
Jackie slowed to a stop, Sam matching her. Someone had graffitied the sign out in front of the college. Now it read ‘Where students come TO DIE’. She looked around, and jumped out of the way of Gob, as he flew past her to slam into the sign, his boots still smoking. Tom slowed to a stop next to Sam, and fell over as his boots abruptly cut out.
Jackie gasped as Gob hit the sign, and she ran over to him. “Oh my god, are you okay?”
Gob waved her off. “Yeah, I’m fine. That was actually pretty good.”
Sam walked up behind her. “Goblins are pretty tough, even without magic armor. I think it’s a product of evolution.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, if your race tries to advance itself by blowing things up, you eventually breed a race of people that’s immune to explosions..”
“That’s not how evolution works, Sam.”
Sam shrugged. “You find a better explanation, I’d like to hear it.”
Jackie stood back up and surveyed the campus. Like everything else, it was a mixture of abandoned buildings and smashed in windows. “Jesus, someone even tore down the cell phone tower,” she muttered,
Tom walked up to them, holding the boots at arms length. “That would be the elves, Miss Jackie. We’ve seen some of them doing things like that, we don’t know why.”
Gob struggled to his feet. “Yeah, they didn’t even try to blow them up.”
Sam made a face. “Things like what, Tom?”
Tom raised his eyebrows but answered “Those...metal towers. And some of the other ones, the tall ones with cables strung from them. They seem to think it some kind of game.”
“Yeah, they dance and sing and get hammered and then hack away with their axes and it comes down. They take turns, and they all cheer when one falls.”
“Fucking elves,” Sam muttered under his breath.
“Are those assholes the reason I haven’t had any internet for months?” yelled Jackie.
Gob and Tom looked at each other. “I’m not sure, Miss Jackie.”
“What's the internet?” added Gob.
“Yeah, probably,” said Sam. “Don’t know why they would even bother. Not like there’s all that many people around to use it.”
“Well I wanted to use it! Do you know how much easier the apocalypse would be with streaming services?”
Gob, Tom, and Sam shared a look. “No,” they said in unison.
Jackie rolled her eyes. “Whatever.” She started walking into the college. “Lets go.” Gob and Tom scampered after her, jogging to keep up, and Sam took up the rear.
“So, where are we headed, anyway?” asked Sam.
Jackie stopped just inside to examine a map. “I’m not sure where, but I know there’s a radio station that broadcasts out of here. Used to broadcast, anyway. The local NPR station. I figure if there’s radio equipment, that’s probably the best place to look.” She stabbed her finger into the map. “There. We need to get through here, and then cross the cafeteria, then jog across the quad, and we should be good.”
“Assuming the elves haven’t chopped down the transmitter,” grumbled Sam.
“You think they would?”
Sam shrugged. “No way to know, honestly. I never understand half the things they do. Just saying.”
Jackie nodded. “Noted.” She started walking, and everyone else followed. Tom walked at her side, and Gob ran ahead and jumped up to look through every door they passed.
“What’s in here? Desks. And this room is...more desks. But I’ll bet over here, there must be...nuts. More desks.” He gave Jackie a look. “Why would you build this place and the just fill every room with desks?”
Tom cleared his throat. “I believe it’s a house of learning, Gob. A place of instruction, where people might come to learn from their elders.” He looked nervously up at Jackie. “Is...that correct?”
Jackie smiled at him. “Yup.”
Gob jumped up to look through a few more doors, then stopped and walked with them. “So...nothing that explodes at all?”
“In the chemistry department, sure. I think that’s a few buildings over.”
“Hot damn! I want to learn chemistry!”
Jackie laughed at his enthusiasm. “Later. Right now we need to cut across this,” she opened the door to the quad, “to get to that.” She pointed at the building housing the radio station, which thankfully still seemed to have it’s tower up.
For chemistry!” screamed Gob, and charged across the outside area. The rest of them caught up with him, where he was stubbornly pushing on a door.
Sam coughed behind him. “You have to pull on it.”
“Oh! Of course!” Gob hauled the door open. “Thank you, Mr. Vampire Servant. Please, enter.”
“I’m not a...you know what, forget it. Happy to help.” Sam walked in and flipped the light switch, and the fluorescent bulbs flickered to life down the short hallway. He looked around. “Well, that’s good, at least. Looks like the solar panels still work.”
Jackie nodded. “Encouraging. I haven’t been here in years, but I think...yeah, this way.” She opened one of the doors and marched down it, her entourage in tow. After about twenty feet, she stopped again. “Okay, so this is the broadcasting booth…” she said slowly. She stared at the room with it’s unfamiliar dials and switches. “So now we need to do...something.”
Sam looked at her. “You mean you don’t know? Why the hell did we come all this way, then?”
“I don’t know, I thought it would be easy, you know, flip a button and hit send. I didn’t imagine…” she waved at the control panels. “this.” She looked around the room. “Maybe there’s a manual or something laying around? Search the cabinets?”
There was a manual laying in the bottom of a cabinet, and it did seem to be for the equipment in front of them, but it was also only slightly smaller than the average dictionary. They looked at it in apprehension.
Sam snorted. “This is going to take forever.”
“Well, do you have a better idea?”
“If I may, Miss Jackie,” said Tom. “If you would allow Gob and myself to examine the manual, I believe we can dispense with it quickly.”
“We read fast,” said Gob.
Jackie and Sam looked at each other. Sam shrugged. “Worth a shot. Gnomes can soak up knowledge like nobody's business. And goblins have a knack for working with technology.”
“Yeah, but what if the technology doesn’t explode?”
“They tend to get bored and eventually move to something else. But we just need to get it working for a minute, right?”
Jackie stepped away from the manual. “Be my guest, gentlemen.” Tom and Gob wrestled the manual onto the ground, and started flipping through it, occasionally making each other pause so they could go back over a section. They talked to themselves as they worked, Gob in a language that sounded like rocks being banged together, and Tom in some sort of language that mostly seemed to consist of the letters g and n.
“You think they can go from not knowing what a radio is to making one work for us in one night?” whispered Jackie.
“Maybe. Thing is, gnomes are the ultimate librarians. They can read at insane speeds and retain almost all of it, but they’re total crap at applications. Hand them a hammer and they’ll probably just drop it on their foot. Goblins are at the other end of the spectrum; they’re all about the application. You wouldn’t guess it from what they were doing earlier, but I’ll bet they were just excited. Goblins can make some truly incredible things, but they have the attention span of a flea. A goblin and a gnome working together? Yeah, they might be able to do it.”
After twenty minutes, Tom and Gob looked up. “I believe we can activate this device, Miss Jackie.”
“Piece of cake.”
They started running around the room, flipping switches and yelling to each other. After a few minutes, the room was lit up, and the broadcast booth looked, to Jackie’s untrained eye, ready to broadcast.
Jackie put her hand on the knob to the booth, and then said, “Wait, guys, can we just turn on a radio and listen? If there’s anybody out there, they might already be broadcasting.”
“Who listens to radio anymore?” asked Sam.
“I don’t know, but it’s what we were going to try, so maybe someone else had the same idea?”
Sam opened his mouth, then closed it and thought. “You know, yeah, worth a shot.”
“Simplicity itself, Miss Jackie. Gob, would you do the honors?” Gob saluted, and then flipped a switch. Static filled the room. “And I believe this is the tuning knob,” said Tom, and started adjusting the frequency. Gob was flipping through an appendix in the back of the manual. He didn’t have to turn it for very long before the government klaxons of the emergency broadcast system began emanating forth.
“Can we turn it down?” Jackie yelled. Tom nodded and fiddled with another knob, and it diminished to a merely annoying drone. “That was easier than I thought.”
A robotic voice started speaking. “In accordance with the Emergency Powers and Government Reorganization Act of 2045, all radio broadcasting equipment is required to play this message on a loop until further notice. All citizens receiving this notification are to report to the nearest government outpost for quarantine and treatment. Your nearest government location is -” and here another voice cut in - “Rochester, minnesota.” The original voice came back. “All who are able are required by law to report to the nearest government center to rejoin the United States as we rebuild our nation, and then our world. May God have mercy on us all. Message repeats.”
The klaxons sounded again, and Jackie nodded at Tom. “You can turn it off now.” Tom nodded.
Jackie sighed. “Well, it’s a direction, anyway.”
“Where are we in relation to rochester? Carl and I had to take kind of a weird path to get here.”
Jackie pursed her mouth. “Fifty miles away? Maybe a hundred? It’d be easy if we could take the roads, but the highways are impassable now with all the crashes.”
Sam nodded. “Good thing the kids have a bunch of werewolves to ride then, right?”
Jackie gave him a look of horror. “Oh God no. My Dad would shit a brick.”
Sam grinned. “Yeah, but I think your mom would shove it right back up his ass and tell him to carry two.”
Slowly, Jackie broke into a smile. “Actually, I think you’re right.” She looked at Tom and Gob. “What do you say? You two want to join us?”
Tom and Gob whispered to each other, shooting Jackie furtive looks the whole time. Eventually, Tom cleared his throat and spoke. “While we greatly appreciate the offer, Miss Jackie, we aren’t sure how long we’re going to spend on the surface, and we’d like to spend as much of it as possible studying human technology. Why, just with what we’ve learned from this manual, we could revolutionize some aspects of society in the Underground.”
“Just wait until I teach them chemistry! How do I learn chemistry?”
Jackie laughed. “You know, it’s nice to meet other...beings who don’t want to kill all the humans.”
“Hey, I don’t want to kill all the humans,” said Sam.
Tom smiled. “We never really had much quarrel with humanity, Miss Jackie, we just got tired of them expanding everywhere. We had to move every couple centuries, and it got tiresome, that’s all. You’ve invented so many wonderful things up here, we’re just happy to have the chance to learn.”
“You guys have all the coolest stuff!
“Sure Sam. Sure. Uh, well, I guess I can show you the library. That should get you started. After that you’re on your own.” Gob and Tom scampered off ahead of her and waited for her to catch up.
“You know what they say about how a little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing?” asked Sam, as they walked across the quad. Jackie nodded, and he continued. “I’ve got a feeling that with those two, we’re about to find out exactly how accurate that is.”
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2020.11.23 23:13 nixiawrites [This Quest is Bullshit] - Chapter 48: Like it or not, the Answer is Slime

New? Start here!
The source of the noise led them away from the relative safety of the cliffside. Eve felt a pang of anxiety as she turned back to watch the fresh fog roll into the space left by Wes’s flames and the wall of rock disappear behind it. The sound of grunts and footsteps ahead was their only compass, now. How easy it would be to wander in these mists for the rest of their lives.
A duality of emotions washed through her as the silhouette first came into view: relief at finding a guide mixed with apprehension at its outline.
It wasn’t human.
The thing scurried about on all fours around a large dark blob that Eve could only assume was the aforementioned “slimy bastard.” A string of unintelligible mutterings marked its sapience, if the relative size of the strange figure compared to the mass of the thing it’d killed wasn’t enough. When at last the shape stepped upright on its hind legs, it stood only four feet tall.
“What’s that out there?” The high pitch of the shout contrasted sharply with the amount of grit in the masculine voice. “I’m warning ye, ye face Drathis, great hunter of the grey abyss!”
Eve froze. “We’re adventurers,” she answered. “We’ve um… got a bit lost.”
“Sounds like mimic bullshit to me.” A click rang out. “Don’t make any sudden moves. This thing’s loaded.”
“What thing?” Preston called out. “We can’t see you.”
Drathis let out an over-exaggerated sigh, stepping up to the very edge of Wes’s ring of fire. The lilac glow flickered over him. It wasn’t the layer of deep brown matted fur nor the pointed snout nor even the hairless tail that swayed dangerously behind him that drew Eve’s attention.
It was the weapon he pointed at them.
“Ah,” Preston said, holding up his hands defensively. “‘This thing’ is a crossbow.”
“We mean you no harm,” Eve continued her attempt at an introduction. “We’re adventurers from south of Xandria’s Teeth. We got stuck out here and have been wandering in the fog for days.”
Wes rubbed his eyes. “We could need some help.”
Drathis blinked. “What?”
“Wes has been burning the poison away,” Preston explained, “but he’s about to pass out from exhaustion. We need another way to survive the mists.”
The oversized rat furrowed his brow. “I don’t think mimics can use fire magic.”
“Don’t mimics only copy inanimate objects?” Eve asked.
A crazed look crossed Drathis’s face. “Ye can never be too sure.” The air fell silent. Even the dim crackling of the ghostly purple flames seemed to quiet for the sake of the tension of the moment. The seconds dragged on.
From seemingly nowhere, Drathis lowered his crossbow. “Alright, that’s sure enough.”
Eve released a breath she’d certainly known she’d been holding—the constant need for oxygen made it difficult to hold one’s breath without knowing about it. “Thank Ayla.”
The dirty rag over Drathis’s mouth twisted with what Eve could only hope was the giant rat version of a smile underneath. “You’re just in time, too. I could use some help with this pelsid.” He turned away, scurrying back towards his kill as he wildly gestured the adventures to follow.
With a shrug, Eve did.
As they approached, Preston made a point of reminding Wes to redirect his blaze around the massive blob. Drathis probably wouldn’t be too happy if they set fire to his prize.
A pelsid, as it turned out, was a giant slug. At over twenty feet long, Eve had no idea how Drathis had originally intended to harvest much at all from the carcass given the complete lack of any sort of cart or wagon he might’ve used for hauling meat. It wasn’t until he snatched up a pair of iron buckets from the ground that Eve realized his intent.
“Start scraping,” the rat barked. He seemed to think that wasn’t quite enough instruction, as he took a moment to demonstrate with a clawed hand. In a single motion, Drathis swiped a layer of dull green slime from the pelsid’s flank, depositing it into the bucket with a hideous plop. “Get to it!”
Wes hung back, too sleep deprived to risk his control of the flames over a bit of sludge. Eve and Preston shared a grimace before the Striker finally shrugged and stepped forward. It couldn’t be worse than the Lynthia sewers.
It was.
The pelsid carried the distinct stench of rotting flesh, a smell that only intensified as she reached out a reluctant hand to touch it. She scooped a handful of ooze into the nearest bucket. It was still warm.
Fighting back a wave of nausea, Eve turned back to glare at Preston. Like hells was she going to do this alone.
The healer rolled up his sleeves.
It took about four more swipes for Eve to fall into the rhythm of it—about as close to ‘used to’ the horrific stench and mucus-y texture as she was going to get. The bucket she and Preston shared was only half full when Drathis moved to exchange his full bucket for an empty one. Eve spotted four more still waiting for their share of the slime. She sighed.
“What do you need all this sludge for, anyway?” Preston asked.
Drathis’s squeaky yet gravely voice carried from behind the giant slug. “You’re the one who was complaining about the mists.”
“I wasn’t complaining, I was…” Preston trailed off. “The slime helps?”
“How did ye think the pelsids survive out here? They absorb things through their skin. Without their slime, they’d absorb the poison too.”
Preston’s eyebrows raised. “It’s an antidote?”
“I didn’t say that.” Drathis set down yet another completed bucket, moving on to his third before Eve and Preston finished their first. “Stuff’s more toxic than the air.”
Eve’s eyes shot open as she jerked her bare hand away away from the dead beast. “How toxic?”
Drathis scaled the carcass to peek over at the two adventurers. “Oh, relax. Don’t eat it and you’ll be fine.
Eve took a moment to confirm she had no notifications about ingesting a new toxin before returning to her work.
Preston continued his line of questioning. “If it’s poisonous too, how is the slime supposed to help us with the fumes?”
“Same way it helps the pelsid.” Drathis slid back down to the ground. “By filtering the air. It takes some doing, of course, but if ye soak a bit of cloth in boiled and dried and re-boiled pelsid slime, it’ll keep the mists from killing ye. Directly, that is. Won’t stop something from sneaking up on ye.”
“Ah, right,” Preston said.
With another swipe, Eve topped off their first bucket and moved to pick up a second. On her way back, she made a point of glaring at Preston for letting his conversation distract him from the task at hand. He sucked in air through his teeth in silent apology before getting back to work.
Despite having smaller hands, shorter arms, and claws more fit for slashing than scooping ooze, Drathis managed to finish his fourth and final bucket just as Eve and Preston topped off their second. At least they had managed to keep their clothes relatively free of the stuff. Drathis’s hardened-leather cuirass couldn’t say the same.
“Good, good,” the rat-beast muttered, handing off the collection of buckets to the adventurers.
Eve took them all. Her class had started out as a glorified pack mule, after all. Carrying Drathis’s slime was just a return to her roots.
“This way, this way.” Drathis took off into the mist, forcing the companions to scurry after him for fear of losing their only guide.
Eve took the opportunity to fully analyze their savior. Beyond the leather chest piece, the crossbow at his back, and the mask protecting his mouth and nose from the toxins in the air, Drathis was completely exposed. Eve wondered at his decision to go without pants in such a dangerous place, if only for the sake of protecting his fur from getting covered in grime. As it was, he looked an absolute mess.
Dirt and blood and pelsid slime practically coated him, giving his fur a glossy sheen that reeked more than the slug itself. Perhaps he preferred it like that. Rats were filthy creatures, after all, at least of those she’d fought in the sewers were any metric.
Eve shook the thought from her head, cursing herself out for stereotyping Drathis. He was no sewer rat. Instead, she opted to Appraise him like she would any other adventurer in the wild.
Level ?? Scavenger of the Wastes Uncommon Tier 4 Class
Eve snorted, fighting to suppress her laughter. With a class name like that, maybe he had been a sewer rat at one point. It just sounded too much like ‘scavenger of waste.’ Far too much.
The other piece of information she noticed was the class’s rarity: Uncommon. However high level he might’ve been, Drathis was probably weaker than she was, at least from a stat perspective. Not that it mattered—in their current environment, his survival skills were worth far more than a few points of Strength.
Just as Eve’s musings turned toward how the Scavenger had found himself in the Dead Fields, he stopped short.
Eve stumbled, bits of slime sloshing out from the buckets to land on her leg. She winced.
“Careful!” Drathis snapped. “We’re here.”
Lost in her thoughts as she was, Eve hadn’t noticed the stone cliffside come back into view, nor the twenty-foot pond at its base. “What’s here?”
Drathis snatched two of the buckets from her grasp, his shoulders slumping from the weight. “Follow me.”
He dove in.
Eve squinted at the water’s surface, watching as the giant rat disappeared into the depths. She turned back to give Wes and Preston an uncertain look.
The healer raised his eyebrows. “You first.”
Eve sighed, looking back towards the clear pond. She took a deep breath.
Reginald leapt in.
“Shit,” Preston cursed. “I must’ve said that to Regi too. Still getting used to this mental-link thing.”
“Can Reginald tell you if it’s safe?” Eve asked.
“Maybe?” Preston shrugged. “Depends on how far away he gets.”
“Can drakes even swim?”
Preston furrowed his brow in concentration for a moment before nodding his head ‘yes’. “He seems to be doing fine so far. Oh, he’s found the—” he trailed off. “Shit. Shit shit shit.” He jumped in.
Eve grit her teeth. “Can you make it?” she asked Wes.
He rubbed his tired eyes. “If it means I’ll get to sleep, I can do anything.”
They took the plunge together.
Frigid water rushed along Eve’s skin in a refreshing shock. It took less than a second for her mana-infused body to overcome the chill, but she worried for Wes and Preston. Such was becoming a trend.
Her gleaming mana lit the way through the submerged tunnel as she swam, following Preston’s frantic kicking ahead of her. About halfway through she spared a thought for the four buckets she still carried. Looking down revealed the slime still rested comfortably in the iron receptacles, dense enough to avoid being washed away. Unfortunately, the same could be said for the ooze that still clung to her hands and leg.
A minute later, she emerged into the cool of bioluminescent moss and the tense growl of a frightened drakeling.
“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Preston struggled to calm both Reginald and the crossbow-wielding Drathis. “Reginald is with me.”
“Well, why didn’t ye say so?” Drathis slung the crossbow over his shoulder, accidentally firing a shot into the ceiling.
“He… was visible around my neck this entire time.”
“Was he?” Drathis pulled back. “I thought that was a growth.” He shook his head. “Anyway, welcome to Hunter’s Den. I’m the hunter. This is my den.” He turned to where Eve was still pushing herself out of the water. “Ye can put the slime by the cauldron.”
As she deposited the buckets, Eve took the opportunity to survey Drathis’s cave. It was downright verdant. Moss lined the walls, joined by twisting ivy and even a few ferns in the soft soil around the water. There was probably more plant life in this single cavern than the entire Dead Fields.
Eve was okay with that. She’d rather missed plants. Seeing the same dead earth and barren stone all day every day had grown rather tiring.
Throughout the cave, she noticed a complete lack of any sort of ventilation. Given the poison outside, that was probably a good thing, though it did leave her to worry about the oxygen supply. Perhaps the sheer size of the cavern in conjunction with the quantity and diversity of its plant life could help overcome that particular danger?
Eve sighed. It worked for Drathis, but three additional sets of lungs meant that much staler air. At least it wasn’t actively poisonous.
While Preston helped Wes climb from the frigid pond, Eve took a moment to sit back upon the soft moss and rest her weary legs. Manaheart or otherwise, she had just walked for several days straight.
As chance would have it, her quest decided then of all times the ideal opportunity to reward her for the combination of endurance, bravery, dumb luck, and willingness to scoop slime off a dead slug with her bare hands that had gotten safely to Drathis’s abode. Eve smiled.
Legendary Quest Milestone Reached: Get Your Hands Dirty! +16000 exp!
Much as she wondered why this was getting her hands dirty as opposed to fighting the goblins or visiting the gods-damned sewers, Eve accepted her milestone as it was. She’d take what she could get.
Besides, regardless of how it happened, for as long as she lived, she’d never grow tired of the notification that followed.
Level Up!
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2020.11.23 03:23 Dapsuh Drake-Thank Me Later album cover turned into 8-bit. Enjoy!

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2020.11.22 00:49 TheTrueBucketman Custom sept lore: The Black Mountain Hunters or Kau'mon'upt

During the latest Sphere of Expansion a small lively world with a medieval race later named Kar'Ta after finding their place in the T'au mostly as scouts, but also as hunters. The T'au that lived on the planet after colonizing it and integrating into the Greater Good many T'au fire warriors started taking up hunting as a pass time activity, often taking Kar'Ta and learned from them.
After generations of this Fire Warrior and Kar'Ta hunting packs eventually bleed into the training practices, so much so that the Ethereals of the planet asked to be seen as a different Sept then their the Vior'la from which they originated. This act was approved and was named after the planet.
The Black Mountain Hunters are known for mixing the tactics of the Kar'Ta quick, hard hitting ambush tactics and the T'au way of using heavy artillery to hammer down on the enemy forces while pushing them back.
Training practices
Part of the training of the Kau'mon'upt Fire Warriors has all the standard parts from physical training, drills and fire practice, but the Black Mountain Hunter team go on a hunting trip with their fire warrior leader in order to graduate and be officially ready for combat, however this step can be skipped if a Commander, Ethereal and or Fireblade said it wasn't needed. This final step is more of a ritualistic test forcing the team, often comprising of 5 Fire Warriors, to work together in order to bring back a good meal to celebrate the completion of their training.
Kau'mon'upt Commanders often go on a solo hunt in order to prove themselves, sometimes it's one step in becoming a Fireblade making the Kau'mon'upt to have some of the toughest requirements to becoming a Fireblade needing them to first raise in the ranks, then go on a private hunt needing them to come back with an impressive bounty like a Sulfur Worm or Swamp Drake, all while surviving 15 days with only their pulse rifle, survival game and a day's worth of water.
Units and there uses
Kau'mon'upt are trained to survive, hunt, move and fight above all else.
Fire Warriors rush into positions to make kill zones, then push in once the enemy is retreating or weakened.
Broadsides often are used to destroy vehicles with providing coving fire being a secondary purpose, Crisis Suits mix the uses of the Fire Warriors and Broadside providing covering fire and keeping the frontline strong.
Stormsurges are used to kill large groups of infantry and any vehicles or aircraft in the area.
Riptides are the frontline, often covering all grounds as need be but often are found pushing the frontline foward.
The armor and it's colors
Colors on their armor or cloth hold meaning in the Black Mountain Hunters, black and red are symbols of the sept as a whole with red being fire and the power of the sept, black is the symbol of resistance due to burn marks that fire levels. White is often the symbol of power or a symbol of intelligence, Ethereals, Pathfinders and high ranking Commanders wear either white stripes on their arm or Command Battle Suit, Pathfinders often have half the helmet white or the whole helmet because of there role on the battle and for Ethereals were the most white because they represent both intelligence and power. Silver is often used on Crisis Suit, Stormsurge and even Riptide pilots often gold being used instead if they're well respected, just as a tradition of the sept that isn't officially written down anywhere but it's just a tradition
Thank you to u/The_Black_Goodbye for helping me translate
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